Worst retro game you own?

I'm sure everyone has at least one pearler. Off the top of my head, mine has to be Surf Ninjas on Game Gear: bilge of the highest (lowest?) order.

In my defence, though, I received it as an ironic present.

One of the first games I ever bought from the Wii Virtual Console was Tennis for the NES. Regretted that after about five minutes playing the thing.

I remember that featuring in the Wii vote thread - where it shouldn't have.

I mentioned this in the Gameboy thread, but I think it qualifies:



Apparently very well received in its original Amiga form, the charmless humans and tedious gameplay were rubbish even to my six-year-old mind.

Dishonourable mention goes to Yoshi's Universal Gravitation.  The beginning of Yoshi's descent into quality freefall, yet also his nadir.

JayMoyles wrote:

One of the first games I ever bought from the Wii Virtual Console was Tennis for the NES. Regretted that after about five minutes playing the thing.

Tennis was a game? It could've fooled me.

Soccer on the NES is pretty gubb too, thinking about it. It might've been the best thing ever back in the day (though I highly doubt it). The goal celebration dance is probably the funniest thing I've seen on the console, though.

I own some bad ones
102 Dalmatians: Puppies to the Rescue
Chicken Run
Dinosaur
ECW: Hardcore Revolution
The Grinch
Illbleed, I've tried playing this one a few times and it's just awful
Sydney 2000
WWF Attitude

And that's just the dreamcast there could be a few others that aren't great, my other retro systems which aren't bad at all but I've not played all my mega drive games and I might think a cricket game is bad but that just be because I don't like cricket.

But one I have played on mega drive is Shadow of the Beast which is just awful but is a bit of cult game and Sony bringing it back on PS4 for some weird reason.

That ECW game really is a load of shite but I see your ECW and raise you Uefa Striker.

In VC terms, it's Fighting Street all the way. A shockingly shoddy game. In actual, physical, owns-the-cartridge/disk terms... I'll have to get back to you.

I own UEFA striker & Dream Soccer, i thought they might of just aged badly.

I remember the ECW games being awful back in the day.

masofdas wrote:

But one I have played on mega drive is Shadow of the Beast which is just awful but is a bit of cult game and Sony bringing it back on PS4 for some weird reason.

Shadow of the Beast really is a pile of rubbish. It's so shonky and sluggish! "Wise fwom your gwave!"

(Checks Backloggery) I have South Park on N64. Anyone had the misfortune of playing that? Terrible.

I think I played it on PS1 and it wasn't great neither was South Park: Chef's Luv Shack which I own.

If you click the link to my Backloggery you can easily see the bad games I own on DC & MD there might be others I missed that are bad and no sonic isn't bad.

masofdas wrote:

ECW: Hardcore Revolution

WWF Attitude

These were essentially the same game, right? I remember it having a really contrived grappling system.

Pretty much

Stu_the_great wrote:

(Checks Backloggery) I have South Park on N64. Anyone had the misfortune of playing that? Terrible.

Aye! I'd asked for that for my tenth birthday, before it got delayed for months. I was adamant I wanted it, while my folks tried to hide the CV&G review from me as it got an absolute hiding. In the end, it was a poor-picked birthday present. There's worse games I've got on the N64, mind.

I'm guessing you've got Superman 64, TCK?

Pan up the page, Stu! Mind you, I wonder why Carmageddon 64 isn't remembered as being on the same level of awfulness as Superman 64, despite apparently being worse.

I don't have Superman 64, and I've never thought to pick it up. Carmageddon 64 is a dog's dinner, and the worst game I've got on the N64. South Park would probably be the bottom ten-fifteen. I quite like the other two South Park games!

FIFA 64 is a good shout for the second-worst retro game I own. Also, as unpopular as it'll be to say this, I think Bomberman 64 wouldn't be far off either. Then there's Aero Gauge too. Dual Heroes was another shocker. I really hated the N64 version of Hexen as well. ClayFighter 63⅓ is bollocks. Nagano Winter Olympics '98 is another iffy one. I've got no time for Rampage World Tour either. Waialae Country Club: True Golf Classics is similarly gash. The list goes on.

Presumably these were mostly bought from charity shops for pittance? Apart from... ooh... Bomberman 64, I'll say.

I have Rakuga Kids on N64. Not a fan. At all.

Balladeer wrote:

Presumably these were mostly bought from charity shops for pittance?  Apart from... ooh... Bomberman 64, I'll say.

Aye, a few quid or so each from various second-hand shops across the country. Gamestation was great for filling gaps in your retro library, as they sold everything so cheap. I think Bomberman cost me two quid.

Stu_the_great wrote:

I have Rakuga Kids on N64. Not a fan. At all.

Shocking behaviour. It's a great wee game - I couldn't fault it.

The Cappuccino Kid wrote:

Shocking behaviour. It's a great wee game - I couldn't fault it.

I think it's 'cause I bought it cheap, completely on a whim expecting a 2D platformer and not a fighter.

Anyone have the misfortune of owning Universal Studios on GameCube?

Cruisin' USA on the N64.

a/ Because it's shit.

b/ I don't need a b/ because the a/ explained it as well as needed

Seriously though, in the epic drought at the start of the N64's life, and also as I'd got myself a shiny US N64, I had to pay a bit more for the privilege, so I vote for this game.

£60 for such a turd.

Hold down go and yank the analogue stick left and right as required. Take in the crap and oft-repeated scenery, listen to the horrendous "music", marvel at the one-of-four pre-scripted crash animations that play out at random as you don't quite press left-or-right as well as you needed to. Watch badly-rendered big-boobed woman start/end the races. Rinse. Repeat. Die.

mandlecreed wrote:

listen to the horrendous "music",

Yeah! Woah! Woah-oah-oah-oah-oah-oah!

Doom 3 on the Xbox. I have never hated a game as much as I hated this. It was ugly, the characters were generic and the story, what I could endure before shutting it off, pointless. I have dislike many a game, but this one really riled me up.

Can a give a special mention to Driv3r on the Xbox? Such a great cast of voice actors, I mean really great, and then some of the worst shooting, driving and pop-up I have ever experienced.

I remember Driv3R having the honour being something like the most returned game ever or something along those lines as it was that bad.