Last Retro Game You Finished And Your Thoughts

It's exactly like that, and while it's not bad, it's not exactly world-beating either. I don't know if Rage Wars would work as a remaster (like Turok 1 and 2 did) as it's hard to see how it would develop any sort of community these days.

Do you think it would still be fun to play online in 2020? As I still often play Halo looking and playing like it did in 2001 (how is this game nearly 20) via the MCC instead of the shiny new stuff added to it.

I suspect you wouldn't get the sheer numbers you'd need for a decent online community.

Never seen the point of bots-only campaigns. At that point it feels like the devs might as well just save the time and money and not put one in!

Yeah, but as we've seen more games are getting cross-play that if it was on PlayStation, Xbox, Switch, PC maybe Mobile all together could make a decent number.

Think that has to be a thing going forward for games that aren't huge things like a COD (which is cross-play) where is the audience is large.

I need to give Banjo a proper strum (oo-er) - the last time I played it was in 2014 when I forced my then two-year old daughter to play N64 games. YOU WILL LIKE POLYGONS. She did in fact, and lovingly referred to it as the "bear and bird game". I should check out the Xbox 360 version as it sounds like a good remaster from what I've quickly Googled. I recall NOM giving Banjo 96% and Mario 64 92% which I thought was a rare moment NOM may have underrated a game. Banjo clearly deserved 99%.

93% for Turok Rage Wars though!! Jeez. I was a big fan of Turok 2 at the time but the multiplayer was one of those "hey guys let's play some Turok 2 instead of Goldeneye for a bit - *crickets*" moments in 1999. It was really janky and the frame-rate was in the single figures, which was a shame because unloading a cerebral bore on a friend and watching them trying to avoid the inevitable was fun times. I always wanted to try Rage Wars but Cappa is right, it was always £5 or a free game if you subscribe to the magazine. Or constantly on sale in them Special Reserve adverts. This put me off in the end, and by mid-2000 I was balls deep in Perfect Dark, a game that took the multiplayer-with-bots thing and ran with it.

gjones wrote:

I need to give Banjo a proper strum (oo-er) - the last time I played it was in 2014 when I forced my then two-year old daughter to play N64 games. YOU WILL LIKE POLYGONS.

Top parenting.

masofdas wrote:

Do you think it would still be fun to play online in 2020? As I still often play Halo looking and playing like it did in 2001 (how is this game nearly 20) via the MCC instead of the shiny new stuff added to it.

In a throwback and throwaway sort of way, yeah, I think Turok: Rage Wars would still be decent fun online. That said, it's light years away from what Halo was in 2001. 

gjones wrote:

93% for Turok Rage Wars though!! Jeez. I was a big fan of Turok 2 at the time but the multiplayer was one of those "hey guys let's play some Turok 2 instead of Goldeneye for a bit - *crickets*" moments in 1999.

Ha! Everybody's got one of those kind of games! I remember having a mate who used to try to get us all to play This Is Football 2002 when he had Pro Evolution Soccer - it's the same sort of thing, it's just a ginormous 'WHY???'.

~



N64 Magazine said: “Fluid gameplay, sharp graphics and a simple control system make this the best basketball game ever”. 90% in Issue 18, ⅘ in Issue 59.
N64 Pro said: “This is fun, action packed and easy to play basketball that balances serious sport with playability”. 88% in Issue 11.

How good was The Last Dance on Netflix? It might be best sports documentary I’ve ever watched. Naturally, The Last Dance put me in the mood for playing some old-school, late ‘90s basketball games. Going back to NBA Hangtime was too obvious (it’s a 8/10 game, no questions asked), so I thought I’d explore what else was on the Nintendo 64. There’s loads of basketball games there, even in the PAL regions: EA Sports, Acclaim and Konami each had their own different series, and as a result I worked out that 4% of the total number of PAL N64 games are of the sport. That's too many. Still, based on the flattering reviews from the time and my relative unfamiliarity with it, I thought I’d give Nintendo’s own one, Kobe Bryant in NBA Courtside, a playthrough.
 
While I had a good time with it, there’s not really much to say about Kobe Bryant in NBA Courtside in 2020. Everything was sort of what I would have expected. It looks like a fairly typical 1998 sports game with decent production values, the rap soundtrack is the same as what’s been standard in basketball games for decades now, and the controls wrap themselves round the N64 controller and put every button to use for both offense and defense exactly as you'd expect them to. I had no problems with my teammates’ AI, I found the trick moves easy enough to pull off, and I thought the presentation and commentary was authentic enough. Everything was all good and well.
 
How much more can I type? Kobe Bryant in NBA Courtside was probably great in it’s day and although time ages all sports games to an extent, it’s still fine now. Would I recommend that you go back and play it though? Not really. I’d sooner recommend NBA Hangtime than this, or suggest that you dig out your GameCube and play one of those superb NBA Street games. There’s even a NBA Courtside sequel on GameCube as well. On Nintendo 64, it’s probably worthwhile for nostalgia’s sake only. 6/10.




N64 Magazine said: “Smooth passing and a top create-a-player” 80% in Issue 37, ⅘ in Issue 59.
Nintendo Official Magazine said: “Doesn’t hold any surprises for long time Jam fans”. 77% in Issue 96.
 
I thought I’d review NBA Jam ’99 while I was at it, but it was honestly too unremarkable for me to bother with past the first couple of matches. That’s because it’s not an NBA Jam game like you’d know it; instead, it’s a simulation of the sport, with five vs. five matches and a full set of rules. Without any spectacular dunks or a bombastic personality, there’s nothing of interest, and it doesn’t deserve to be called an NBA Jam game. NBA Jam 2000 at least tries to do it’s title justice, as it adds a ‘Jam’ mode to the ‘Sim’ mode that’s more of less what it was in NBA Jam ’99. Disappointingly though, it still doesn’t go far enough.
 
NBA Jam 2000 winds up feeling like a 2 Vs. 2 version of basketball that’s maybe a little faster and sometimes ignites you on fire if you’re playing well. My playthrough of the game’s Tournament Mode only brought up three things that I feel are worth commenting on. Firstly, both modes required 128 block memory card blocks each to save my progress, which actually required me to buy a bigger memory card. Secondly, Shaquelle O’Neill’s player model is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen in a computer game – it looks like a jobber you’d create in WWF Warzone who’s the maximum height and weight and called ‘The Gimpmeister’. Lastly, it’s the only basketball game I’ve ever played where I ended the first quarter with the match tied at 0-0. How weird is that? Anyway, aye, NBA Jam 2000 is a completely forgettable game that’s got no worth twenty years on, 4/10.

We all salute you for putting yourself through such a thankless task, Cappa. Genuinely, GENUINELY, you should compile these posts into a Word doc, convert it into an e-book and whack it on Amazon for a few quid. These are all more personal takes than even Scully does with his encyclopedias, so you can tell you properly played them.

You have to laugh at NOM's "doesn't hold any surprises for long time Jam fans" comment when it does, considering it does a U-turn on the previous title's lack of Jam. Also, NBA Courtside best basketball game ever? That's a statement and a half. I'd have thought Jam held that title. Personally, I have no interest in basketball, but the NBA Street games are some of my favourite sports games, which is a testament to how well them games are made. The "first to 21" nature is tense, whereas basketball games where it's just score, score, score just bore me.

NBA Homecourt on 360 was amazing and I did enjoy the 2K ones on Dreamcast, they pushed the system and high polish.

gjones wrote:

We all salute you for putting yourself through such a thankless task, Cappa. Genuinely, GENUINELY, you should compile these posts into a Word doc, convert it into an e-book and whack it on Amazon for a few quid. These are all more personal takes than even Scully does with his encyclopedias, so you can tell you properly played them.

That's really nice of you to say that, thanks. I just did these as something to keep me occupied during lockdown. I thought I'd may as well play these old games that had been sitting in my drawer for years during all this free time I suddenly had, and type up some thoughts as something of a creative outlet. I hope folk enjoy them. Banjo-Kazooie and two or three others aside, all these reviews have been compiled on a Word doc for a couple of months, waiting to be uploaded onto here. I'd considered copying these reviews onto Amazon, CEX or wherever, but I'd never considered charging for them. If there's a way I could do it for charity fundraising and even get a few quid, then I'd definitely be interested in your idea.

Something like Special Effect would be a very apt charity if you planned to go down a fundraising route. A "name your price" with a minimum donation of £3 or something would be great and I know I'd personally love to have a place to have your reviews and longform posts compiled as they're easily some of the best posts on here.

The Cappuccino Kid wrote:

I'd considered copying these reviews onto Amazon, CEX or wherever,

If you were gonna do that, do 'em on Gintendo mate

Quote :

but I'd never considered charging for them. If there's a way I could do it for charity fundraising and even get a few quid, then I'd definitely be interested in your idea.

I reckon you could. Make it a quid, we'll make you a cover or whatever, and if you wanna donate the proceeds to charity go ahead.

I'd contribute to that.

Just catching up on this, cheers for those suggestions. I'm going to hold off on posting the other twenty-or-so N64 reviews until I've decided what I'll do with them. I'll look into Special Effect and see what I can do there. 

I'll probably start on some Evercade cartridge reviews at the weekend, but here's a random one I typed up months ago in the meantime:



I’m not sure what possessed me to pick up Wave Race on the Game Boy, or what possessed me to see it through. This is one of those Game Boy games that everybody seemed to have back in the day, one that was bundled with every system in every imaginable way at Beatties/Woolworths/Toymaster. I didn’t have it though, cause I played a mate’s copy, and I knew it was baws. I think I got it for 50p or something in CEX last year.


It’s very primitive jet skiing with a circuit grand prix, a slalom mode, and some link cable options too. There’s basically no music, no variety in the sound effects (hope you enjoy the rave of a jet ski engine!), no speed and no hook to keep you interested. Annoying course layouts and obstacles, cheaty computer racers and a lack of any sort of reward at the end seal the deal. Nintendo don’t pay attention to this for good reason. It’s Micro Machines for fannies, 3/10.

No speed? But the box promised me high-speed action! Bin it.

"Micro Machines for fannies" is definitely apt. I remember a friend having this and can only assume it was promoted as a reason to get the link cable. What a pile of arse that, while limited by its hardware, could have gone the Super Off Road route, or even Road Rash. God, imagine Road Rash on water. I hope Nintendo read this forum

Makes sense Micro Machines for fannies would be wet.

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Super Mario Bros. 2



My mission to replay all the Mario platformers hit the same stumbling block it always does; after playing through the slick, quick, perfectly paced Super Mario Bros came the slower, more bloated Super Mario Bros. 2.

I like a lot of things about this game. It looks great, it has fun music and it gets really creative with levels that require a bit more exploration and sometimes puzzle solving. Highlights for me were moments that involved riding enemies.

On the other hand, levels are way too long, making the game feel like a slog. Having a generic boss on every level means there's no feeling of punctuation from one world to the next, and it all adds up to feeling less like an adventure than the first, despite having more visual and gameplay variation.

Also, the picking and throwing mechanic doesn't feel as fun as jumping on heads, and the control isn't quite as nice as in "real" Mario games.

MAR/10

I'm a little torn now, should I play SMB3 on NES on take advantage of the All-Stars version being on Switch?
Also, how much time am I willing to give The Lost Levels?

It's a strange coincidence that I've been playing Super Mario Bros. 2 as well. I'm up to the seventh world. I like it and it's oddness well enough, but it's pretty unexciting these days. I owe that feeling to the repetitive levels and music. I maybe don't have a reason to review it now you have, but I'd probably be thinking about a 7/10 if I were. I matched it up against the GBA remake a couple of weeks ago and that's quite a bit better, as it's just got more going on in the levels and with the audio.

Yeah, I heard someone else say that SMB2 is the one that benefits most from the All-Stars treatment.

Here's my thoughts about the six games on The Interplay Collection 1 Cartridge for the Evercade.



As far as I'm concerned, Earthworm Jim is the best game on the Evercade so far. It's stylish, humourous, the right sort of challenging and had some of the best sound of the 16 bit era. 

Boogerman: A Pick And Flick Adventure is better than you'd expect. It's a solid and vibrant platformer that's slickly presented and brilliantly animated. It's drawbacks are two-fold though. Firstly, the games' theme is a bit gross and unappealing for anybody who isn't in primary school. But more critically, the second issue is that Earthworm Jim is just better in every single way.  

Clayfighter's whole identity is in it’s visuals, as it uses stop-motion claymation. It comically parodies Killer Instinct, Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat, yet has absolutely none of the guile or verve of any of those games. It's not so much bad is it is average, but it's nevertheless the high point of the series. 

It seemed like Incantation was getting a bit of hype from Evercade and it's supporters in the build-up to this compilation's release. This seemed to be the poster child for what the Evercade was all about: Incantation was supposed to be this hidden gem that time had harshly forgot. Yet in truth, it's total rubbish. Quite tedious at times and uneventful for the rest, it's only remarkable feature is it's dogshite level design. 

Titan is a bit like Breakout/Arkanoid/Alleyway, but over multiple screens and across dozens of different labyrinths. Getting through these big levels and then struggling to hit that final block is annoying, and the framerate can't keep up. It'll make no difference to your life if you play it or not. 

Rounding off the collection is the NES version of Battle Chess. To be honest, chess has always been too intricate and complex to appeal to me, and I've got no idea what's going here. 

As a whole, I think this is maybe one of the weakest collections on the Evercade. They bundle it with the £80 Premium Edition and they feature several of the games heavily in their promotions, but Earthworm Jim is the only game that's truly deserving of that spotlight. 5/10.

Super Mario Bros 3

I polished this one off this evening when I got home from Tenet.

It's just a really good bloody game. I hadn't spent much time with it before, and now that I have I'm amazed at how much of the formula was nailed down this early. It kind of takes away a little of World's shine for me knowing the shoulders it was standing on.

Here's my thoughts on the Namco Museum Collection 1 on Evercade:






Galaxian, Pac-Man, Xevious, Mappy, Dig Dug, Libble Rabble and Starluster can be tarred with the same brush, as they all share the same big issue. Fundamentally, they're the same classics that were kicking about in arcades in the early 1980s, and they're all perfectly playable today (although your enjoyment would vary between titles, natch). Guttingly though, these are the NES conversions, and the concessions you'd expect with a transition between arcade and home console are all on display here. Don't get me wrong, they're good fun to try and get better scores in, but when Evercade admitted that they've also licensed the original arcade versions of all six of these games, it's pretty poor that it's actually the crustier and limited NES ports that they're selling you. 

Battle Cars was the game that interested me the most - it was actually the first game I played on my Evercade when I got it in the spring. Anyway, Battle Cars is like Namco's version of F-Zero, but with weapons. The Mode 7 scrolling is quite good and the soundtrack is suitably meaty, but otherwise, it doesn't really stand out. It wouldn't be a bad addition to SNES Online, but it's hardly an overlooked and underappreciated classic. 

Metal Marines is a futuristic RTS that's all about building up your army and managing your resources. It's various re-releases on Virtual Console all received good feedback, and despite it's dated-ness I think this would go down well with people who like this genre. No me though: bluntly, this isn't my sort of game. 

Quad Challenge is the only Mega Drive game on this collection, and it's a total dud I'm afraid. For all it's vehicles, modes and nifty graphical tricks, it's just lifeless to play. 

Mappy Kids is the first ever official English translation of this 1989 Famicom platformer. I got most of the way through it and mildly enjoyed what I played, but it didn't hold my interest. I feel like I'm something I'm missing, like there's more to it that it don't know about. That's because it's incredibly basic and simplistic, even by 1989 standards. It's not entirely unwelcome, but like Battle Cars it's hardly some long-lost great from a bygone era.   

~

From whatever way you look at it, Namco Museum Collection 1 is a poor compilation. The NES ports are emulated well but disappointing all the same, and the other five games don't set the world on fire. It's strangely curated for sure, as Namco Museum Collection 2 is actually pretty good. It's like they've loaded that with the good games and scraped the leftovers onto here. 4/10.

More Evercade thoughts, this time the Data East Collection 1.



I'll start with Burgertime, probably the most famous game on this whole collection. It's an acceptable NES port of an excellent arcade game, perhaps let down by just being too difficult. Still, it remains fun and addictive, and that's what matters. 

Bad Dudes is that "Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President?" game that seems to be held up as some sort of classic, for some reason. It's cheesiness is the best thing about it, because otherwise it's nothing amazing. Once again, this is the NES version, which has issues of it's own. 

Burnin' Rubber just came out on Arcade Archives on Switch a few days ago. Predictably, this isn't the 1982 arcade version, which itself is so graphically uncomplicated that you could probably get it running on a brick. Nah, this is the NES version. I'm not really a fan, it just relies too much on memorisation. 

Karate Champ is yet another NES port of an old-school arcade game, but this fairs very poorly. It's got no depth - the whole game basically boils down to 'lay the first hit'. It's an utter bastard to control too. Comfortably the worst thing on this collection. 

Midnight Resistance is an early Mega Drive game that never made it to Europe. It's a fun run 'n gunner that's got some pretty intuitive controls and a fair degree of difficulty. I enjoyed it on my playthrough, it's good stuff. 

Two Crude Cudes is the spiritual successor to Bad Dudes, and like all sequels, it builds on it's predessor with better sounds, better graphics and better playability. Not the best game ever, but it's good on this. 

Side Pocket is a top-down pool sim on SNES with trick shot challenges thrown in between games. I really liked this - it's mechanically sound, but it's got tons of personality and a cracking soundtrack. Bring this to Switch Online! 

You've probably got Joe & Mac 2, it's one of the games that launched with SNES Online last year. That's where I completed it in 2019, and I thought it was a pleasingly solid 2D platformer. It won't change your life if you play it, but it's a very decent to spend an hour-and-a-bit. 

Magical Drop II is quality. It's sort of like Tetris meets Bust-A-Move, but with a little bit of Puyo Puyo's strategy. It's a really lively game that I thoroughly enjoy. 

Lastly is Fighter's History, most famous for having Data East caught in a lawsuit filed by Capcom, which claimed it to be too similar to Street Fighter II. It's an astonishing rip-off right enough, but here's the thing: by aping Street Fighter II so closely, it's actually winds up feeling pretty good to play. On Evercade, it's probably the best one-on-one fighter yet. However, is there anywhere else where you don't own Street Fighter II? 

~

This is more like it. The Data East Collection 1 has a not only a good mixture of games, but a mixture of good games (if that makes sense). 7/10.

The Cappuccino Kid wrote:

Bad Dudes is that "Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President?" game that seems to be held up as some sort of classic, for some reason. It's cheesiness is the best thing about it, because otherwise it's nothing amazing. Once again, this is the NES version, which has issues of it's own. 

Sounds like maybe you're just not a bad enough dude.

I really should play my Evercade but you're not selling it to me Cappa, you're doing the opposite and making me think hmm I could get Dirt 5 for PS5 by flogging my Evercade.

Also surprised not to see some Super Mario 64 in here yet