"A Big Pot Full Of Bum": GNamer Forum Cr@p Game Reviews Thread

The recent ‘is GNamer the spiritual successor to Nintendo Gamer?’ discussion got me thinking. In particular, Jay’s comment that “it's more trying to emulate the spirit of NGamer than a true spiritual successor” is the one that’s revived this old thread idea.

Nintendo Gamer and it’s predecessors were bloody brilliant (natch), and for me their spirit, my memories and it’s legacy are all about the hilarious BAW-BOOTINS that the reviewers used to unleash on utterly terrible games. Case in point: who remembers their reviews for Super Mario Galaxy 2 and Mario Kart 7? *silence*. But how about Kittsy’s mauling of Chicken Shoot?

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And how about his beatdown of Asphalt 3D – who remembers that?

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And – going back a millennium for the long term readers! – who else has fond memories of N64 Magazine’s annihilation of Wheel of Fortune and of Mortal Kombat Mythologies?

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Glorious. Glorious stuff. I want to see pthers emulate this style of reviewing – and that’s I’m hoping for with this thread.

So here’s the idea: basically I’ve assembled a bunch of some heroically woeful Wii games, and I’d like to post them out to youse to review for the forum. I also want them to be shared out amongst the other regulars, so you all get to play, assess and trash this dismal stuff for yourselves. In theory it’s a bit like a library for shite games – you take delivery of a random game, play it for a week or so, then punt it to the next forumite. After that, scribble a couple of hundred words on here about what you thought of it and try and get a few laughs by emulating some of Great Britain's true literary greats, like Sir Martin Kitts, Sir Tim Weaver and Sir Jonathan Davies.

It’s not a balanced, nuanced critique I’m looking for, and I definitely don’t want to see anyone defending any of this mince: I want to see these games annihilated like the ones in the screens above.

This could be a great laugh or it could die on it’s arse. I'd need addresses and you'd have to be happy to post games forward at your own (in)expense, but who’d be interested in taking part? It's just a bit of fun.

Let us know, and if you've got any questions, ask away.

Stellar idea Cappa. I don't have my Wii at my flat (nor do I know where my Wii is, actually) but I'd love to see the outcome of this.

This is a brilliant idea though I'll have to have a wee think before deciding if I want to take part.

I'm well up for this. I love being mean to shit games

As Cappa knows, I'm definitely up for some of this.

I will be up for this... next month. There's too much work this month, sadly.

JayMoyles wrote:

Stellar idea Cappa. I don't have my Wii at my flat (nor do I know where my Wii is, actually) but I'd love to see the outcome of this.

All good squire. The intention is to do DS games too, so perhaps you'd like to get involved in that sometime?

The_Jaster wrote:

This is a brilliant idea though I'll have to have a wee think before deciding if I want to take part.

Right you are. Let us know what you think.

Drunkalilly wrote:

I'm well up for this. I love being mean to shit games

Atta boy - I read your Frenchy Bird review and enjoyed the kicking you gave it, so I was hoping you'd get involved here . Ping your address over and I'll send it off Cr@p Game #1 to you on Thursday or Friday.

Balladeer wrote:

As Cappa knows, I'm definitely up for some of this.

Excellenté! You get the honour and privilege of being sent Cr@p Game #2 - as with Buska, fire your details over to me when you can and I'll send it off to you pronto.

ZeroJones wrote:

I will be up for this... next month. There's too much work this month, sadly.

I know the feeling, and understand. Give us a shout next month!

Good idea Cappa,

Not sure if it's for me as not sure I can be as mean as you would like towards the game but look forward to see the results on the forum of the games you all play.

But if you want to take a bash on me looking at something I will, also remember I've played barely anything on Wii.

The Cappuccino Kid wrote:

JayMoyles wrote:

Stellar idea Cappa. I don't have my Wii at my flat (nor do I know where my Wii is, actually) but I'd love to see the outcome of this.

All good squire. The intention is to do DS games too, so perhaps you'd like to get involved in that sometime?

I'd be well up for lambasting some shite DS games.

masofdas wrote:

Good idea Cappa,

Not sure if it's for me as not sure I can be as mean as you would like towards the game but look forward to see the results on the forum of the games you all play.

But if you want to take a bash on me looking at something I will, also remember I've played barely anything on Wii.

With all due respect, you're the forumite who posted a video of his Wii U collection, took one look at Assassin's Creed III, said "this is awful" then threw it to the side. I'm sure you could contribute! I'd be happy to send you something if you're wanting to take part

JayMoyles wrote:

The Cappuccino Kid wrote:

JayMoyles wrote:

Stellar idea Cappa. I don't have my Wii at my flat (nor do I know where my Wii is, actually) but I'd love to see the outcome of this.

All good squire. The intention is to do DS games too, so perhaps you'd like to get involved in that sometime?

I'd be well up for lambasting some shite DS games.

Duly noted. I'll have a look into DS games soon.

~

Just the one address so far folks. I'm looking for a couple more to get involved before I send the first batch of cr@p games off on Friday.

Well it's a milked annualised ubisoft pish, okay yeah I can do this lol.

Also thanks for watching Cappa.

Sounds great! There is plenty of crap on Wii, mad dog mccree and ninja bread man question every I ever learnt about game design!!

masofdas wrote:

Well it's a milked annualised ubisoft pish,  okay yeah I can do this lol.

Also thanks for watching Cappa.

Or the classic line of "not much to say on that one"

It's an interesting idea! I've not really thought about writing a crap game review, because I tend to only buy things that are highly recommended, and at worst I find games that are "a bit disappointing"; the most annoying things I've played recently are just things that haven't aged well, so I couldn't even get angry about that. Cappa, if there are any left over after everyone's had a go, I'd put myself on the list.

If there's one person on this forum I'd love to see review a shocker, it's Jimbob. Give it a go, sir!

masofdas wrote:

Well it's a milked annualised ubisoft pish,  okay yeah I can do this lol.

Also thanks for watching Cappa.

Good man! Fire an address over to me and I'll send you a game on Friday.

EofGizmo wrote:

Sounds great! There is plenty of crap on Wii, mad dog mccree and ninja bread man question every I ever learnt about game design!!

Welcome! I hope you appreciate that I can't send you a game so soon after you've joined, but please stick about for the reviews.

Jimbob wrote:

It's an interesting idea! I've not really thought about writing a crap game review, because I tend to only buy things that are highly recommended, and at worst I find games that are "a bit disappointing"; the most annoying things I've played recently are just things that haven't aged well, so I couldn't even get angry about that. Cappa, if there are any left over after everyone's had a go, I'd put myself on the list.

You'll not be disappointed with any of the games I've got here, as they're all completely bollocks. I've got a couple left over just now - you could have a go as soon as Friday if you're wanting to get involved and are willing to send me an address?

I've sent over Cappa, I reckon we could do it with Wii U games me & you seeing the rubbish we own.

Thats ok dude! Im looking forward to reading about all the pain you guys are about to put yourselves through haha

There's nothing wrong with Creed 3... It's just a weaker entry in a series that many had fatigued of...

I'd be up for this at some point (when I've got less games to review already ), though I'm not a big owner of actually shite games (minus a few PS3 games)

Course it is it's from Ubisoft with the exception of anything related to Michael Ancel or with the Tom Clancy brand most of the time.

But yeah it's not shite I just don't like what that game & company stand for and I would sooner actually play a totally shite game like Hot Wheels in my collection with actual charm & personality. I know it's the LOL look how bad this game is sort of thing is, I would get from Hot Wheels where AC3 I'd be like this is just plain boring.

masofdas wrote:

I've sent over Cappa, I reckon we could do it with Wii U games me & you seeing the rubbish we own.

I haven't recieved your address - do you want to try again?

~

If anyone's wanting to get involved with this batch of games, get your address over to me tonight before 11ish. I'll be away from the forum for about a week afterward, so it's now or never!!! (or in a couple of weeks time, whatever)

Sent,

So who's in also how long we keeping etc before sending on.

masofdas wrote:

Sent,

So who's in also how long we keeping etc before sending on.

This is mad. I've still not got it in my PMs. I don't understand why, as I've had them from Balladeer and Buska.

Keep the games for a week or so. Nothing super strict, but Balladeer is waving his banhammer for people who take the piss (or keeping games that still belong to me, despite how shite they are). I'll send games out tomorrow to whoever wants to get involved, then see if everyone's still happy to be involved after the first round of games and I'll exhange addresses on their behalf - and with their consent - then.

Got it! Cheers.