The Gnamer Nuzlocke Challenge

Gee, thanks Mum. I'm so loved that I get to travel with the Tupperware. Superb.



"Yes son, you finally don't have to sleep with the dog! Isn't that wonderful?"



At least there's a potion in my PC. A mild consolation for being treated like furniture.



$3000. Dad's monthly show of fatherly love.



"Yeah, too bad he barely sees you son. Now, don't spend your Pokedollars in one place!"

I've now to find Professor Birch, whoever he is. I'll ask the townsfolk - I'm sure they're a little bit better adjusted than my mother.



Well, that sounds like a nice happy family right there. Welp, off to their family home.





Um... I've just met you, and you're quite crazy, give me your Gamecube, make that a maybe.

I find Professor Birch being attacked by a Zigzagoon. A ZIGZAGOON.  



My trainer card dictates that I'm given a Treecko. Not bad!



Now, are you SURE? Like, really sure? I could be the milkman's son, you don't know.



In honour of Vido kickstarting this thread again, I'm naming my starter after him.   





Sadly, Professor Bitc- I mean, Birch tells me that unless I see his quite-likely-deranged daughter, I don't get a Pokedex or Pokeballs. Ugh.

A quick jaunt up the road to Oldale to try and find her then. Sadly, I got an encounter on the way there, which means no catching Pokemon on the first route.



"AKA: Our town is really shit and you'll never have a reason to return here. Get your free potion from the Pokemart guy and move on."

Another encounter on the route above Oldale means no critters for me there either.



So, I didn't screencap this out of panic, but I nearly died on the very first real battle. May scored a critical hit on me at half health, taking me down to 2HP. My reaction:



A return to Littleroot later, and eventually I get my Pokedex and Pokeballs from Birch and his demented, attempted-murdering-of-my-starter freak daughter.

Mum finds me trying to sneak out of town without her noticing.



AM I THOUGH? REALLY?! DOES HE KNOW I EXIST?!





Thus ends part one. Next time - I guess we see Dad, or something.

I made it to Oldale with a little training on the first route. Picking up a freebie and also buying some antidotes just in case disaster strikes.



After catching up on some TV I head north to find BFF May. I carefully navigate the grass as I have no pokeballs at this point and would like to return here to see what I can find.



Why, hello May. I have picked up a two level advantage with my training and May is easily beaten with repeated use of tackle. With this battle done we both return to littleroot and I get a pokedex from Birch!

I also get access to pokeballs, keeping in mind that I didn't activate a wild battle on route 103 I return there to try my luck. However...



My luck deserts me at this 'critical' moment. Poocheyna is defeated and this area goes to waste. Knowing how common they are I am quite sure I will get another chance to grab one.

Heading past the footprint maniac, I enter route 104. Hoping to grab an incredibly rare Ralts!



Yet, this was not to be and instead I have to settle for a Lotad. Having two water pokemon makes me uneasy and I run into two battles on this route that could have been potentially troublesome. The first was from a youngster who had a Taillow, luckily my wariness pays off and I switched out Stu to avoid the oncoming peck attack.

In a close encounter Stu also just edged out a victory against a trainers Shroomish, owing to his part grass typing and repeated use of astonish to flinch the mushroom pokemon.



I make it to Vendanturf, and after a brief spell of self reflection I come across my Dad. Who promptly sends me on an errand with some Wally.

Wally, instantly runs into a wild Ralts much to my annoyance. Could this sickly kid be a true Nuzlocke prodigy?



Finally, I proceed to the next route. As predicted I get the dark pooch as my first encounter. Knowing that Balladeer likes the Dark type choosing the name was easy. I probably wont come across an Absol anyway!

Next time: Rustbro woods and the poison problem.

So our adventure begins in earnest! I hope I catch something really cool on the first route, like maybe a Lotad or a Ra-





Great. I'm going to arrive in front of my Dad for the first time in ages and I'll impress him with the same Pokemon everyone gets and a mutt. Well, a Pokemon is a Pokemon, and I'll need every help I can get along the way I guess.



Salutations Masofdas!

My journey throughout the rest of the route went without incident, and I arrived in Petalburg leaving a trail of disappointed rookies in my wake.



"Also, where people - not naming names - neglect to properly give their son the attention they need".





He asks for my "trainer profile", which I'm pretty sure is a lead-in to potential molestation.



I don't think he got the message, as he was pretty happy with my response.

Noping the fuck out of there, I prolong my visit to the gym by talking to the inhabitants, who revel in reminding me of my familial strife.



"And nothing else".

I decide that maybe I don't need to see my Dad at all, and try to sneak out of the city. However, someone has other plans for me.





After being dragged like a petulant child to the gym, I brace myself for a happy family reunion.





Well, thanks Dad. Nice to see you too.

Then, before we can begin to hash things out, some dying kid comes into the gym.



Well, gee Dad, it's not like we haven't seen each other in forever. But sure, I'll go help out this child I've never met before. Oh, and you're loaning him your Pokemon. And giving him Pokeballs. Is this your real son or something?



AND HIS FIRST POKEMON IS A FUCKING RALTS WELL OF COURSE IT IS



You know what, I'm going to take on Dad right now!

But... he rejects my challenge.



Fine. I'll wait. I'll get stronger - and I'll prove to you that I'm the best. I'm not weak like you think I am. Tell you what Dad, I'll really prove it you by only using a maximum of two healing items per battle, like you Gym Leaders do. I won't brute force heal my way to victory. I'll beat you outright. I'll beat everyone.

(although outside of battle I'm going to heal like there's no tomorrow)

So there.

Right - let's get this party started right! Let's catch us a new really strong Pokemon on the next rou-





Next time: bugs and stuff.

(for the record, I murdered that Poochy hard)

We begin today by venturing into Rustboro Forest.

I hope I catch something really good in he-



FUCK YOU POOCHYENA I'VE ALREADY GOT ONE



Nope, just hordes of dogs.

After this, a pirate attacked us. After reminding him Halloween isn't till October, I pressed on through the forest.





After crushing some bugs, I exited the forest and immediately went to catch another Pokemon. I hope I get a Marill!



WHY. WHY MUST YOU FOLLOW ME DOG?





Destroying more trainers with my dog and gecko dream team, I arrived in Rustboro.



Heh - crazy old cat lady.



Yep!



Curse you character limit!

Now, up to the route north of Rustboro to round out our team before the gym leader. I wonder what I'll catc-





Next time: WE BURN EVERY POOCHYENA TO THE GROUND.

(except mine. Mas is cool)