The BIG DS Voting Thread, Coming to You Weekly: Thanks For Voting!

Phantom Hourglass and Black/White 2

Ghost Trick

Phantom Hourglass and New Super Mario Bros

Wario: Master of Disguise



Phillips: Totally stunk the joint out. Impressively unimpressive.

Anno 1701



andyman949: It was a free gift with my NGamer sub, but it was a bad free gift. Set up a basic trade route and then do nothing, because there's no point to anything, ever.

Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies



Vidofnir: Never have I been more disappointing by a DS game. Dragon quest 8 provided us with a driven story and memorable characters. The fall from heaven DQ9 takes is the completely underhanded and clumsy method of character progression. You design the other members of your party and they never say a word the whole game. Complete RPG killer.

Infinite Space (prepare yourself Balla...)



andyman949:
I could type for hours about how this game is one of the biggest disappointments I have ever had in my life. I love Platinum games. I love the games they make and I am always eagerly awaiting their next game (I can't wait to buy TW101 in fact). I picked this up after hearing quite a few good things about it alongside the fact that I love Platinum. This game broke my heart, it tore what little faith I had in the world apart, it took my heart out of my chest, asked me to choose between rock, paper and scissors and then stamped on it regardless of my answer. The combat was just so awful, I spent hours trying to beat the first damn boss but with such an illogical and luck based combat system I could not. I was doomed to spend a life time watching the same bit of conversation, doubting if I had prepared well enough to take it on. I went back and restarted the game several times to see if I had just missed something and had just made some silly error. There was nothing, the game was just bad. I will never trust anyone or anything again...

Yoshi's Island DS



Balladeer: So, so, so, so, mediocre.  Maybe if it wasn't a Yoshi game, starring one of my favourite Nintendo characters and therefore being an epic crushing disappointment through its mediocrity, it wouldn't be here.  But it was, so it is.

Meteos (really prepare yourself Balla)



Buskalily: I know this game was beloved by lots of people, and I had a lot of time for it when it came out. Then I tried to beat a high score, and discovered that scrubbing just works too well. There's something wrong with your game design when the player can do better just closing their eyes and jibbing out on the touch screen than playing properly.

Solatorobo: Red the Hunter



Balladeer: The worst game I've played (and understood) on the DS.  Dire easy combat, dire easy puzzle solving, dire characters (who may or may not be easy, the game doesn't go into that) following dire anime tropes in a dire plot, and dire-logue.  Dire.

Retro Atari Classics



Phillips: Subtitled: How To Make A Complete Bollocks Of Touch-Screen Controls. What a nightmare.

Golden Sun: Dark Dawn



Balladeer: "Golden Sun is great!" screamed NGC.  I passed it by.  
"Golden Sun: the Lost Age is great!" screamed NGC.  I passed it by.
"Golden Sun: Dark Dawn is great!" screamed NGamer.  I yielded, and was greeted by a dull RPG full of tedious dialogue spouted by undeveloped characters to try and fill in Psynergy Vortex-sized plotholes.  The battles weren't up to much either.  
"Golden Sun IV is great!" the Internet may scream.  I'll probably pass it by.

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon series



Buskalily: All of these games are bollocks. Who keeps buying them, besides idiotic mothers? Maybe we should go round a few houses next christmas, and if we find one of these wrapped up under the tree, drag the parents into the street and execute them? Just one or two, mind, but it should send out the message.
(Jay:  )

Rayman 2



andyman949: Dear Ubisoft, stop porting this horrible game to every console under the sun. It's not very good in the first place so rubbish ports of it don't help.

Sonic Rush Adventure



Buskalily: I loved the first SR, and this one still had nice levels, but who the fuck thought all that mid-level boat nonsense was a good idea? That can piss right off.

Final Fantasy IV



andyman949: How do you make a game near unplayable? Make the graphics so bad your eyes bleed! The SNES graphics look lovely, why did you ruin them with dodgy DS 3D (I'm pretty sure it looked worse than FFIII as well). I'm pretty sure they hiked up the difficulty too. I very nearly gave up on FFIV entirely but I tried the PSP complete version and loved it (apart from the final boss).

RPGS that stick the player between a hard boss and a "can't retreat" message, with no way of getting stronger in between



Balladeer: Infinite Space, I'm looking at you.  You're a good game, despite your looks, but why oh why did you feel the need to prevent me from ever finishing you?  

(Jay: This is basically an Infinite Space dishonourable  )

Pokemon Conquest



andyman949: Leveling up is impossible or so incredibly grindy it hurts my soul to think about it. Eugh.

The World Ends With Two



Balladeer: For not existing.

(Jay: The above is an artist's rendition of my reaction when I found out that the TWEWY countdown was for an iOS port)

DSi



andyman949: I do like the DSi, it's nice to hold, it had a good screen and the downloads were a good idea initially. Unfortunately they took out the Gameboy slot which wasn't only annoying because I like playing GBA games but I also wanted to play Guitar Hero and use the rumble pack. Don't stop me from using the accessories I bought for this gen Nintendo!

Nintendogs



andyman949: Voice actions that the dogs didn't seem to recognise after you taught it to them the day before, was this ever meant to be a good game?

(Jay: That sad dog is just for you Andy, you angry angry man  )

King Kong: The Official Game of the Movie



(Spoilers: That doesn't end well for old Kong ^)

nintenDUCK: Didn't like the movie, too many apes. But it is pretty manly and the game is no exception- lots of apes and crabs and apparently a T-Rex you get to play as later on in the game. Unfortunately I'll never know for sure if it exists because the graphics were so poor (even for the time) and the controls were ill-thought out to the point that I just wanted to burn my DS and leave gaming for a life of topiary. I honestly can't really give this game any genuine praise.  Easily the dullest turd in my collection. Rant done, vote done. Here's Mr. asshat to wave me out:  

Buskalily: I loved this game. I'm not even taking the piss. I liked the shooting, I liked the dinosaurs, I loved the Kong bits. It was nowhere near perfect, but it was the very definition of 70% to me. I never understood why all the reviews said it was utter gash. I guess this is an honourable dishonourable mention?

(Jay: I guess so, but it goes here because I'm not having a separate category for honourable dishonourables  )

Phillips: So empty, so samey, so awfully mince.

Pokemon Diamond/Pearl



Balladeer: I gave my reasons why these games were a disgrace to the franchise in the RPG week, so here are just the main ones, communicated via interpretive dance:

Balla's ire in GIF form within:

andyman949: Coming out of Ruby and Sapphire I assumed Pokemon could only get better forever. I was wrong, even the starter Pokemon were naff which hardly sent out optimism rays for the rest of the game. I was right, the secret bases and contests had also been wrecked. Another game, more shattered dreams.

The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks



Vidofnir: This game had no atmosphere, the train was always going to be a constricting mechanic. No memorable dungeon designs and a terrible villain, a shadow of a Zelda game.

andyman949: Stop shouting about the repeated dungeon in PH, this is the worst Zelda I've ever played. They took the free roaming boat, they strapped it to a rigid track with nothing to do but shoot rabbits and smash into indestructible trains. The dungeons were OK but possessing phantoms wasn't so much fun.

Flower Sun and Rain



Buskalily: Worst Christmas present ever. I read "Suda 51" and I was sold. What a fool I was. Utter, utter shite. Played like a lunatic's cheese dream and had graphics like an abused rottweiler's puked up dinner.

andyman949: I don't think there's much argument about this, it's rubbish. We all knew Suda had lost the plot anyway but this game was horrible.

Doki Doki Majo Shinpan



REDACTED - After skipping through interminable reams of Japanese text and guessing at dialogue choices, I finally got to the witch-touching.  The stupidly well-endowed ten-year-old is moaning, very possibly asking for me to stop, yet the game demands that I continue to poke her until I have diagnosed whether or not she is evil.  Pretty sure I'm worse either way.

DIRTY BUGGER - Yes, I played this once. It was a joke present for a mate, I swear to god! I didn't enjoy it or anything! She told me she was 17! I didn't even do anything, I turned it off as soon as I started touching her. She had clothes on anyway. Seriously, I swear! Please, your honour!

Everyone who played Doki Doki Majo Shinpan



You'll be on the register if some kind soul didn't redact your names above.

*ahem*...I played it once on emulator, couldn't understand it, it was foul and just a horrid game all around. Nobody wins here.

In other news, Buskalilly is a slice of festering pig mulch and can go vomit all over himself.