General Cricket Thread (It's Come Home)

Indeed it does, it very much does.

I'm not a big T20 fan, I may have said. However, I need to post a picture of one of the England lads in their T20 get-up, because, well...



...it's bloody hideous. Like staring into the sun.

Uggh, Waitrose, gross.

Also, massive thank you to the balls man for organising the draw and almost making cricket interesting. I'm going to spend my winnings just how he'd want me to: on a third party game for my Xbox one

At least you didn't use Jay and Jaster's vomit gifs.

Ashes Silly Season is in full swing. Mark Wood has been talking about bouncing out Australia's prime LBW candidate; Mitchell Johnson is going to continue to sledge because why not; and Braddin has been allowed to open his mouth again. Sigh. What price another series against New Zealand, where everything was friendly but the cricket was still good?

It wouldn't be proper cricket without some good old sledging if you ask me.  

Good thing I don't then!

Can't stand sledging.  Play the game with bat and ball, not your fat stupid mouth.  At least it sounds like Jimmy will be turning it down.

The only player I'm okay with when sledging is Ben Machokes, because it'll be funny.  I'm looking forward to him bowling an effort ball, seeing it go for four, hurl a stream of crass invective at the unnaffected batsman, and see the next ball go straight through the same region.


And speaking of Stokes, here's him, Root, and James Taylor.

I guess I just don't really see that much of a problem with it, grown male athletes are going to be pumping full of testosterone and that typically manifests in some way, better a bit of light hearted verbal fencing than some of the more primitive ways we see it occur in other sports. I very much doubt the Australians are exclusive in it either, although it being as ingrained in to the culture as it is probably makes it feel unremarkable and that probably makes it easier for them to go over the line a little when it comes to it.

That said my favourite part of sledging regardless of who is doing it is always when the other player gets them back with the ball or the bat. Always satisfying seeing chickens when they come home to roost.

They're not alone in it (Jimmy, Kohli), but they're some of the worst. And we're all pumping with testosterone, but most of us have the decency not to show it, even when things get tense in our lives. I doubt New Zealand, who behaved like perfect gentlemen in the field, have any less testosterone than the Ozzies. B-Mac's team have set a thoroughly creditable bar where behaviour is concerned that all teams should aspire to, while still play attacking cricket.

The only times when verbal fencing is good are when the person starting it gets their comeuppance, hence the Stokes anecdote I mentioned above, or when it's genuinely funny.

To be fair the kiwis are more the exception than the norm when it comes to the combination of testosterone and adrenaline that sports creates. When it comes to cricket at any rate, from what I gather Rugby is pretty big in new zealand and you don't really get much more combative than Rugby as far as team sports are concerned.

Yes, but there it's part of the game (and it's not a game I care for much on any account). Cricket can be played perfectly well without all that mucking about, as NZ have shown. They are the exception, but they're something other teams should be striving towards, rather than going, "Yes, we saw them. Yes, we're still going to spout like manchildren on the pitch."

True enough, although because of cultural differences it's likely never going to happen.  The "Australian way" is one that takes these sorts of things more relaxed, and considers sledging as long as it stays within reason as more something to be a part of the way the game is played and something where you just give what you take and leave it at that.  

Personally I support the ideal of sledging in that I support the ideal of light banter if I were to think about it, although I will agree that it should probably be toned down, modern sledging seems to cross the line between banter and outright insulting for the sake of insulting more often than not and is something that should be brought under control.

It is entirely due to cultural differences, which is why it will never change.

If it stayed at light light banter then it would be a lot better than it is now, agreed, when we've got ****ing broken arms and howling like dogs and seven fielders all yapping at the batsman and Braddin having a voice to start with.

Definitely how the Ashes are going to go.

In some sadder news Harris is out of not only the ashes, but international cricket as his injuries finally take their toll and force him to retire from all forms of the game.     A real shame given what he brought to the side, hope he does well whatever path he chooses to take now.

Kind of funny though that he fell before Mitchell Watson.

Yes, sad times indeed. From a purely England perspective, I'll not be sorry to see him out of the Ashes - from a cricket perspective, a damn shame. I'll still remember his heroics in prising out the South African tail last year with his knee flapping about. Seemed like a genuinely nice chap too. All the best to him in his retirement.

So an acquaintance of mine reckons you guys are going down 4-0 in a almost-whitewash, and that Mitch Johnson is going to prove as much a slayer of the English batsmen as he was last Ashes.  

Personally I think that's a little optimistic (I'm wagering a 3-1 result with one or two matches coming down to the wire), but I can't say I blame him for the attitude.  We put up a very good fight last time while the team was in disarray, then six months later won five nill at home and are almost as strong now as we were then.  Then again he also reckoned Australia were going to crush both India and New Zealand in the semi and final of the world cup, which we did so who knows, he might have the right of things.  

"You guys"?  I'm not playing, Athrun, and as far as I'm aware nobody else on the forum is either!

The Australian way is to go into the series slinging bravado and hype about.  Meanwhile, Englishmen cower behind their spreadsheets and say, "Maybe if...?"  But in the last few days, I debated the result on a county cricket blog (mostly English, one Indian), and the results surprised me: I was the only one who thought Australia would win.  Others thought that a veneer of hype had been blown through, and that Australia were setting themselves up for an "England in 2014".

Mitch Johnson the destroyer?  He could be.  He's fast, vicious, swings the ball around.  He also blows hot and cold, and no longer has Harris to back him up.

In fact:
Chris Rogers has huge amounts of experience in English conditions.  Chris Rogers was almost pushed out of the Test team by Sean Marsh.
David Warner is a hugely destructive batsman on top of his game.  David Warner hasn't had the best time recently, with a lot of flashy cameos for not very much.
Steve Smith is the best batsman in the world.  Steve Smith... okay, he's hard to come up with a negative for, but the same applies to Joe Root.
Michael Clarke is Michael Clarke.  Michael Clarke has a back that could betray him at any moment.
Adam Voges has shot onto the Test scene like a rocket, off the back of an incredible FC season.  Adam Voges is relatively untested at this level, especially in England.
Shane Watson is a surprisingly economical bowler and a destructive batsman on his day.  Shane Watson's days are few and far between, and he's also one injury from the scrap heap.
Brad Haddin blunted the English attack in 2014.  B*** H***** was on a run of Australia-bound form that's now dried up, leaving him as mediocre as he was two years ago and older too (and no less of a prick).
Mitchell Starc is devastating.  Mitchell Starc is devastating... in white ball cricket, but hasn't really reached that level in Tests yet.
Josh Hazlewood is the next McGrath.  Josh Hazlewood is another untested one, who has seemed off his game since coming to England.
Nathan Lyon is a canny operator backed up by a fearsome attack.  Nathan Lyon went around the park against a second-division county.

The media hype can be spun either way (apart from for Smith).  Same is true for England, of course (remember what happened last time Bell played a home Ashes?), but I feel that in Australia, it's easier to get swept along into a feeling of invulnerability.

I still think you're about right with your 3-1 estimate, but your mate seems to have been taken for a bit of a ride.  Or maybe not - guess we'll find out.  


Alright, shall we do one more exercise before tomorrow?  Your top five English dangermen.  My top five Aussie dangermen:
1. Steve Smith
2. Mitchell Starc
3. Josh Hazlewood
4. Mitchell Johnson
5. Adam Voges

Oh, and: Fantasy Ashes game?  http://ashes.fantasy.ecb.co.uk/a/home

Wait, the media hyped Australia before the last english ashes?  The media here was busy saying how they were going to get slaughtered because the team was in complete disarray after the absolutely horrific Indian tour that saw several players reduced to laughing stocks (here at least) in what was dubbed "Homeworkgate.  

They then judged the ashes solely on the scoreline of 3-0 and decided we had been "slaughtered" by England in what was a fairly well contested series (certainly far more contested than a team in Australia's position had any right to be) and proclaimed that England had a very strong chance of winning the Ashes here (in hindsight I think that prediction warrents a "lmao").  I myself before the last Ashes predicted a close win for Australia.  

My predictions seem to have a history of being rather conservative when I make them, so who knows.  I could be right, I could be being too conservative again, or I could finally be outright wrong which I'm waiting for (gotta happen at some point, no time like the present).


As for my danger men, with my awful knowledge of the English side I proclaim these the biggest scalps up for collection by Johnson!

1: Kevin Pietersen Joe Root
2: Alastair Cook
3: Stuart Broad
4: Ian Bell
5: I got nothin I'm afraid, Ben Machokes?

Despite form slumps I'm still eyeing Bell with some suspicion after his stunning last Ashes performance, Root even made the news here with the quality of his current form, and last I heard Cook's form picked up.  


I don't really like hyping, but Smith 's form last summer at least was just, honestly it was kind of mind blowing.  I don't hand that sort of praise out easily, while I'm easy to please I'm hard to impress like that, Smith did it.  His showing last summer was batting of the highest order, Australia has churned out some stunning batsmen over the years, and his form this summer was easily up there with the modern legends best.  

I'm not expecting him to be quiet as deadly as he was this summer, but I will say this about him, I expected his form to slump over the autumn break.  He's still scoring constant centuries instead.

Either way I'm expecting a good show because of the form both teams are in, the question remains however whether it will be because Australia is thumping England or because of a set of close matches.  Honestly I'd prefer the latter as that is much more fun to watch once the novelty of your preferred team dominating.

Honestly I only really started following cricket midway through the last Ashes, so I wasn't familiar with Homeworkgate or anything until afterwards. So I got that one mainly from hearsay. It's certainly true from what I've experienced, but perhaps these two years have been reasonable reactions? I suppose we'll see.

Gosh, your knowledge of the English side is awful! You shouldn't be so insular in your outlook! There's a great deal of great cricket played by sides that aren't Australia, or indeed England (quite a lot of the time not England). So it sounds like it's more through chance that you got four of my five:

1. Rooty (natch)
2. Cooky (natch)
3. Jos Buttler
4. Stuart Broad
5.

While Bell seems to be in a downward spiral, Jos is England's "new brand of cricket". Comes with all the inevitable hyperbole, but has a nice habit of scoring big hundreds in ODIs and has taken to the longer format like a duck to water. Here's a picture of him:

#ButtlerDeathStare:

Lets a few byes through, mind, especially to spin. But he's young, we'll forgive him that.

Smith is deadly, I won't deny it. I expect him and Root to be the big scorers this series.

GONE!  Second over, only seven runs on the board and Hazlewood collects his first Ashes scalp in the form of opener Lyth!  Ballance to the crease, mercifully it's Cook receiving from Starc right now rather than him.

I'll be fair here and say the pitch is going to be horrible for trying to score more than singles and twos, the ball just isn't bouncing well at all right now.  Bouncing enough to get a wicket or two though.  


Cook and Ballance do well to survive their first of what will no doubt be many overs from former English Slayer Mitch Johnson taking five runs off him in the process.  England looking pretty decent right now despite the first wicket, a steady puddle of runs and keeping their heads on their shoulders.

And just as I say that Cook whacks one to the boundary for the first four of the match, a excellent shot if I do say so myself.



Lyon strikes!!  Cook is gone for twenty runs after Loyn works some of his magic!  England is in a bit of trouble now at two for forty-two.

Oh my god Starc has lbw'd Bell for one run!  What started out as the captain going down is looking like we're on the precipice of a actual bonafide batting collapse from England after just over an hour of play!  

Finally the danger man himself Root is to the crease, lets see what he's got!

Oooh, this has been a superb over from Starc, maiden, the scalp of the captain himself, and a couple of intimidating balls one bang on lbw line and another seemingly nicking outside edge but Haddin just not quiet getting a hand on it.  Things are far from over, but England is on shaky ground right now with three wickets down and the Australian bowling attack looking like it's about to find its rhythm.


Root's putting on a master-class right now with some superb batting, plenty of boundaries and threes.  It's nice to see this sort of aggressive and proactive batting from the English.

Lunch with the score 88 for 3, Root on 33 for 24 balls and Ballance on 28 for 57 balls. Root is doing a good job spearheading a so far effective counterattack after the Australians ripped through most of the opening order, but one good performance a good session does not make and England still need to make up for this, Root has made an exceptional start on doing just that. Lets see if they can continue this form after Lunch.

Up and down morning, that one. Ballance needs to cling to his place in the middle like a limpet, Root just... needs to be Root.

And H***** dropped Root on 0. Tee hee hee.

Imagine if he'd taken Root!  I imagine that would make fine material for a nightmare.  

Anyway, checking back in for a couple a overs and it seems Root and Ballance have managed to form a fairly strong partnership, Root taking the lead with Ballance taking the every bit as important position of holding down the fort and supporting Root, good stuff.  

Well, back to Wimbledon and Murray's match.


It's time



Congrats to Root for the century, there was a point where he was looking a bit iffy and he lost his way but he got through it and got the ton.

I log back in for the first time in a while, just as Root gets out. Ah well, excellent knock. Buttler and Stokes need to bed in before the new ball comes - Moe can bat, but after that Starc should sweep up the tail, especially if he gets the new cherry. He's looked a bit off so far, though, Starc.

Good to seen Warner having a bowl, though. Equal opportunism. And yay for Gaz Baz! He's been terribly out of form, good to see him in the runs.