General Cricket Thread (It's Come Home)

True that. In fact, I think I said this earlier on, along with pretty much every cricket correspondent for the BBC.

Actually I've got a question now. A bit of news came out today (or was it yesterday? My sleeping schedule is completely wacky right now) that the old coach said there are big fractures in the team. I'm just curious to know if the UK media is making hey out of it or if it's largely been ignored.

Personally I don't think it will make much impact on the next test tomorrow so I haven't been paying attention to it, but my curiosity has been raised.

A bit, yes. It hasn't been that major though, as far as I can tell. Warne and Gilchrist not getting on that well didn't seem to have a huge effect on the team.

I see, then it's just our media blowing it out of proportion (or at least the ABC), which is rather typical.  

And here we go again.  The Aussies have "lost" Cowan (and Starc?), while England have "lost" Finn.  Despite what I said earlier, I think Oz have made a more clean-cut and possibly more sensible decision with regards to the former number 3.  Finn's bowled well in Lord's before.

And some old lady in a big hat is holding everything up.  Great.

EDIT: Cook wat r u doin stahp.

EDITEDIT: Why are the England batsmen such morons? Why not just turn up, shake hands with the queen and whack your own stumps so hard they fly across the pitch?

I've been busy with Abyss and lost track of the time, what did I miss? Sounds like I missed something given the scoreline on my tv.

Three wickets in eleven balls and Harris bowling up a storm.  I'd say that Trott and Bell seem to be weathering it for now, but... (checks BBC for another wicket)  (sighs with relief) ...it's not easy going on what should be an easy-going pitch.

I still maintain that Abyss is only marginally better than the England batsmen.

EDIT: Well, Australia have Cooked up a storm so far, but England seem to have found some Roots and are now Trotting along nicely. Hoping that Australia are unaBell to (wait for it) rePietersending-off of such calibre as the first three.

Someone else can continue. I've Haddinough.

I now expect England to get over 450 runs after your comment about Abyss.

On a side note it's good to see Cowan gone, he got way too many chances in my opinion.

Well they're making a decent start on that total.  Now I'm just waiting for one or other to do a Pietersen and get cocky.

EDIT: I wish the BBC's commentators would stop saying things like, "England cruising along." That's just asking for Jellicent to get a hat-trick.

Aw yeah, Trott is trotting off the pitch!

That is exactly the sort of thing I meant.  Sigh.  Bell/Broad to save the day again?

Of course, before that Australia have to "deal" with the "might" of "Bairstow".  Quack quack.

EDIT: I believe that Bell was getting quite a bit of flack prior to this series.  Bet he's not getting so much now.

EDITEDIT: I come back from a meeting and the same two are in!  Lucky, lucky Bairstow.

EDIT x3 COMBO: My quacking looks a bit foolish now, in the best possible way.  

Tales of the Abyss is looking better and better at the moment!

I'll regret the comparison, won't I?  Still, it gets 67% at the most currently!  (68% including the margin of better-ness.)

Staying in the office until Bell gets a century or out.  Then home.  Hurry up, Ian, I'm hungry.

EDIT: Yaaaaaaay.

Congrats have to go to mister Bell on a well played Century.  And yes, it is looking like you made that comparison a tad early.  

EDIT: Finally a breakthrough, Bell's finally gone.

EDIT2: Yay! Another one bites the dust.

English batting/TotA score collaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapse.

---

DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY: TWO BATTERS (AND ANDERSON) REMAIN.  Nice going, Tim.  (claps slowly)

EDITEDIT: Had a minor heart failure when I hit "back" on my browser to be greeted by the WICKET text at the top.  Then read the text: Bresnan.  Browser hadn't refreshed the page.  Phew.  Not that I expect Anderson to last long, mark you.

THREDIT: And there we go.  12 is about 11 better than I expected from the man, mind you; and it's better than or equal to five others' hauls, including three of England's first four.  Sigh.

In the meantime, congratulations to Harris on his haul.  Well deserved, and a better swap-in than I foresaw.

EDIVT: What is it with tail-enders in this series?  Not that England's managed a great performance in the first test, but they're pulling up here.  I suppose Bad Boy Broad doesn't count as a proper tail-ender...  361 as I speak/type.

Best thing about the bowlers playing well is that they don't add to Abyss' score, of course.

FIVEDIT: And that's that.  Nice try Broad: seeming to relish his image now.  All out in time for lunch.  Let's see if Bresnan can pull his weight.

I'll let Athrun talk about that. Five edits is bordering on the ridiculous already. (Or should that be Broad-ering?)

Alas I have nothing to add right now since I only just woke up. Watson and Rogers are off the mark at least, so I won't be seeing any ducks from those two.

We should do a GNamer Ashes commentary. Anyway, no ducks, but that one wicket will do. Bresnan earns his test place.

The collapse has now begun! Now Rogers is out as well, and another botched non-use of the review system. Watson wasted one, Rogers didn't use it to save it and we now know it would have saved him.

He still got more than either of England's openers.  Apparently it was a terrible, terrible ball from Swann as well.  Oh well: apparently Smith did the same yesterday.

EDIT: Cripes, the Aussies aren't great with their reviews. are they?

Indeed.  At this rate it won't be long before England can resume batting for the honour of Abyss.  

On the other hand Clarke is now on, so we'll see how this goes.

EDIT: Well now, if he scores even one run next innings the new number 3 will have proven himself better than Cowan!

Good grief our batting sucks.  

I think both England and Australia are better bowlers than batsmen.  Both Jimmy and Harris have had good spells.  (As has Smith: dunno what to think of that.)  Also think Australia have got the better captain, better with the bat and the tactics; albeit not so good with reviews.

I'd quite like to see a Clarke/Haddin partnership.  Reckon that could do some damage.

EDIT: Twitter comment: "Pretty sure Khawaja would have reviewed that if they had one left."  Sorry, but I had to  .

EDITEDIT: And here it comes.  Brace yourselves, Lions...

...wait, no. Goodness, what's happened to the Australians? Did the first test suck all the fight out of them? Come on Agar...

Good grief, I take a break for half an hour and come back to find England have made it to the tail end.  I reiterate our batting sucks.  This feels like I'm watching a repeat of last match, only this time I have a suspicion we aren't going to be saved by the tail end.

Cripes, I just saw on the tv we haven't even made it out of the follow-on territory.

Boycott: "This is a wonderful day's cricket seeing Australia commit hari-kari after all those years where they were lording it over everyone."

I can't help feeling sorry for the Australian team.  My dad, who grew up in Australia's era of cricketing dominance, doesn't agree.

EDIT: I can't help noticing it's me and three Australians online...

Ouch, Agar just bit the dust.  I am now predicting we don't avoid the follow-on.  It's times like this I miss the Steve Waugh era, those were good times to be growing up in a cricket following home.  The sheer level of talent and skill that era had on display was brilliant to watch.

The Australian team's theme music this innings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE_2nIGFgfU