Kirby's rumour buffet!

I thought that was a Twilight joke, but it turned out to be cleverer than that.

Layered, that was. Layered.

I'm into yer BDSM so it don't bother me a lick.

Suddenly Vine Whip isn't so cute any more.

And Drunka's just dropped a tactical TMI on this thread.

After fixing the forum's hyperlinks, ZeroJones has accepted a lucrative new contract to become an admin. of SONM. Our opponents affiliates are planning to use his intricate knowledge of our vulnerabilities to hack into our systems and leave us a smouldering wreck.

Zero's number one tip: "If you so much as poke the software it falls over."

We can exclusively reveal a picture from JayMoyles's home after the cyber-attack detailed above.

Rumour has it that Nintendo of Europe are having to recall all copies of The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess HD Limited Edition from retailers due to accidently shipping each set not with the soundtrack CD as advertised, but instead with a 12", Romanian spoken word version of Katie Price's 'You Only Live Once'.

Somehow, Gamespot Northern Bulgaria are to blame.

Balladeer wrote:

After fixing the forum's hyperlinks, ZeroJones has accepted a lucrative new contract to become an admin. of SONM.  Our opponents affiliates are planning to use his intricate knowledge of our vulnerabilities to hack into our systems and leave us a smouldering wreck.

Zero's number one tip: "If you so much as poke the software it falls over."

Foiled again

Super Ghouls 'n Ghosts to launch across Europe on New 3DS Virtual Console in early April, with the exception of Pilsen in the Czech Republic, where - as was the case on Wii and Wii U - they will be getting Hong Kong '97 instead.

Spoiler:

That game is a modern masterpiece, lucky Czechs!

Ex-employees of the now-defunct Lionhead Studios are to form a guerrilla video game development group called Turtlehead Studios.

Their first game is a Tom Clancy one, a videogame sequel to The Sum of All Fears.  It's called - yes - The Turtle of All Fears.

The Cappuccino Kid wrote:

Super Ghouls 'n Ghosts to launch across Europe on New 3DS Virtual Console in early April, with the exception of Pilsen in the Czech Republic, where - as was the case on Wii and Wii U - they will be getting Hong Kong '97 instead.

Spoiler:

I missed this when it was posted - and then spent at least three minutes listening to it just now.  I think I've gone vaguely insane.

So you could say I...






























...Czeched it out.

Astonishing rumours about Super Mario Galaxy coming out of Nintendo EAD Tokyo: Shigeru Miyamoto allegedly wanted to QUIT Nintendo in late 2006, after being informed that the multinational software development giant was "not co-operative" to his idea to publish his conceptual 3D platformer under the title U R MR GAY. Miyamoto supposedly "went apeshit" at the decision, before he was heavily sedated and locked in a cupboard for two weeks.

My Nintendo launched in the West today, and with it Nintendo announced a variety of 'Missions' that can be completed to earn credit to use on exclusive deals on their online shop. Most of these rewards have been made public, however rumours suggest that Nintendo have squirrelled a few more away. Online conjecture suggests that:

• If you purchase a game that's WORTH £7!, you get a special 'Matthew Castle' costume for your Mii in the Miitomo app
• If you delete Dillon's Rolling Western from your 3DS system, you get 10,000,000 Gold Points
• If you scream "Your Dug's Goat Tits!" really loudly into your Wii U GamePad's microphone, you'll get 300 Platinum Points (and an arrest warrant for creating noise pollution)

More rumours as we hear them.

Nintendo also launched its first smartphone app "Miitomo" today in the West. Your Mii asks you questions about your life, but reportedly Miitomo has started asking some users darker questions such as "Why do I feel pain?", "How big is your boaby?", and "Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and thought 'I totally would'?"

Following My Nintendo Picross: Twilight Princess HD, rumours suggest that the next My Nintendo exclusive game is going to be Metroid: Boney M.

It's been a long time since Baby Mario featured in a platformer but word has reached us that Nintendo are working on a solution to this pressing problem. It's a 3DS-bound crossover with Kirby: the pink one has to find the tiny one in each level and return him to a mechanical bed contraption at the end of said level. Boasting 80 levels and the usual array of inhaleable powers, we're due this one in early 2017. Say 'hello' to Kirby: Planet Robocot.

The rumor of Nintendo NX having Wii U ports has almost been confirmed, as a source "...close. Super close. Mega close." to Metro GameCentral Venezuela has told the bitter anti-rag that the four Wii U games coming to Nintendo's NX will be Sports Connection, Just Dance Kids 2014, NBA 2K13 and Game Party Champions.

Usually reliable NeoGAF user 10k has leaked the first details of Nintendo's NX advertising campaign:

• It's a set of YouTube videos, but you can't actually watch them until you've found the three codewords hidden on the Internet's top gaming sites: Polygon, Gamergate.com, and Pornhub.
  
• Called "The Rufus Hound NXperience", starring Rufus Hound.
  
• The Mario coin sound plays whenever he does his iconic wink.
  
• Rufus starts off by telling you that you probably shouldn't bother buying the NX, Nintendo will go third-party next generation anyway.
  
• He compares the NX to "the foam on the best pint you've ever had", the controller to "the glacé cherry on the cupcake of delight", and the idea of hybridisation to "the feeling of joy when you find a salt and vinegar crisp in a pack of ready salted" (despite Nintendo having scotched hybridisation before the E3 reveal).
  
• Rufus talks up the great launch line-up, including Funky Barn 2: Get Down 2 Funk, F-Zero NX: Chibi Multiplayer Shooter, and The Rufus Hound Experience: The Movie: The Game: The Video: The Sandwich Super Mecha Go.
  
• Following this, the viewer's monitor opens up, and darts tipped with rat poison fly directly into the viewer's eyes.

Nintendo expects the NX to sell 50m by the end of its first quarter.

Balladeer wrote:

[*]Following this, the viewer's monitor opens up, and darts tipped with rat poison fly directly into the viewer's eyes.
[/list]

Nintendo are also launching the NX alongside its new VR system designed to replace your useless, poison-ridden eyes.

Mighty No. 9 to release on December 2nd 2016 for the Keiji Inafune-approved price of £2,638,231.

The Cappuccino Kid wrote:

Mighty No. 9 to release on December 2nd 2016...

Bit optimistic, that.

It's a way off now, but we've got some rumours about further NX launch games. Among the line-up will be the following:

• In the fluffiest of the titles, you take control of chirpy cockney chicken Jenny McWings, and play a series of minigames based around her still-shelled progeny;
  
• Another new IP, you play cutesified vampire Loretta, who stops villains from threatening her very existence in the only way she knows how;
  
• In, surprisingly, the grittiest of the selection, Mario goes up against old flame Pauline, who kidnaps Peach out of jealousy, and turns into a monster throughout the course of the game.

Coming in March 2017 worldwide: 'En Eggs, Aah Necks, and An Ex!



(readies Poltergust)

Balladeer wrote:

It's a way off now, but we've got some rumours about further NX launch games.  Among the line-up will be the following:

• In the fluffiest of the titles, you take control of chirpy cockney chicken Jenny McWings, and play a series of minigames based around her still-shelled progeny;
  
• Another new IP, you play cutesified vampire Loretta, who stops villains from threatening her very existence in the only way she knows how;
  
• In, surprisingly, the grittiest of the selection, Mario goes up against old flame Pauline, who kidnaps Peach out of jealousy, and turns into a monster throughout the course of the game.
  

Coming in March 2017 worldwide: 'En Eggs, Aah Necks, and An Ex!



(readies Poltergust)

Also Annexed. What we're going to do you you after that.