Dear Daisy, GNamer Romantic Mishaps Thread

So many complications! Drunka, I feel for you. I think I'm just about getting over some incredibly strong feelings I have for one of my best friends. He has a long-term boyfriend and it's quite clear we fancy each other very much indeed, but we both know what's best and we've gained a very solid friendship from it. He's also helped to boost my confidence no end.

Balla: Ouch! I can honestly say I've never met an asexual person. That must be pretty challenging when it's quite clear you know what you feel towards the girl. I hope some good comes of it.

As for me, I've got a date tonight with some guy I went out with on Monday, then I have a date with two different people next week ( ). I'm just trying to keep my options open a bit.

Have The Fun, Stu! Sounds like a busy time ahead!

Thanks, Zero. It's about time I got this aspect of my life squared round.

Hope one of them works out for you, Stubert.  You're a lovely chap, so I can only imagine that it's always been the other bloke's fault.

Drunka, I absolutely do that thing - get too keen, start going too far. I'm trying to approach this from a calm standpoint, but aaaaaAAAAAARGH etc.

I'm actually worried that I may have mucked up my friendship with a girl in my choir. Again, very quiet, awkward (I have a type, so what? ). I sent her a text asking if she wanted to meet for coffee; she said no, didn't suggest another date, and I left it there. But I'm worried that might have freaked her out, and that makes me worry, so it's more awkward for me to speak to her... Ho hum.

Why is it always coffee? I don't like it all (part from in cake or ice cream or chocolate form) and the last two girls I've met for coffee didn't have a coffee either when we met.

Anyway on Final Fantasy girl as you will now her as, well I've talked to her and found few things out like she's moved but not much else and now I'm stuck as I can' think what to say now.

Excellent point - I'm not actually a fan of coffee either.  But where do you invite a girl you fancy but no more (yet) to go?  Drinks, maybe, but this girl was teetotal; dinner seems too forward at that stage; and outside (park or something) is almost out of the question in London.  

"Coffee" is the traditional opening manoeuvre: risk-free, non-scary, and can be construed as a friendly invitation in tretrospect.  I'll usually have a cup of tea or a mocha (i.e. coffee for wusses) instead.

Look a park


But good points, cinema I guess is okay but can't really talk part from before or after the film. Maybe bowling or some sort of local activity but as the girl I like lives in Bridgewater the local activity is meeting the local drug dealer & getting stabbed.

You're on form with the #bantz today, Mas! I'd say that cinema is first date material, but even then, I've never liked it for a first date for the reason you mentioned. If we can't talk, we shouldn't date.

masofdas wrote:

Maybe bowling or some sort of local activity but as the girl I like lives in Bridgewater the local activity is meeting the local drug dealer & getting stabbed.

Great first date activities - a true bonding experience.

Coffee's usually safe, as Balla says. Cinema is a big no-go for me for a first meeting, considering there's no chance to really socialise for a couple of hours.

Yeah it's not a great one but I guess if you know the person like I want to see Avengers and the girl might want to see it, kind makes sense.

Guess you can get coffee before hand.

masofdas wrote:

as the girl I like lives in Bridgewater the local activity is meeting the local drug dealer & getting stabbed.

Haha! Exquisite #bantz!

Balladeer wrote:

Hope one of them works out for you, Stubert.  You're a lovely chap, so I can only imagine that it's always been the other bloke's fault.

Aww, cheers Balla.

Balladeer wrote:

I'm actually worried that I may have mucked up my friendship with a girl in my choir.  Again, very quiet, awkward (I have a type, so what? ).  I sent her a text asking if she wanted to meet for coffee; she said no, didn't suggest another date, and I left it there.  But I'm worried that might have freaked her out, and that makes me worry, so it's more awkward for me to speak to her...  Ho hum.  

As for this: at least you've approached the lass in some way. You've lost nothing even if you don't get  response because at least you have some closure on the situation. She might even get over her shock and approach you at some point in the near future.

****

As for coffee: "Coffee" is most definitely a euphemism in the gay world. Whenever I've been invited somewhere for coffee, coffee has never entered the equation.

***

My date this afternoon had to be cancelled due to illness sadly, but fortunately it's rescheduled for next week and I have two more before that time.

We actually had an okay talk on Monday, so it's probably just a matter of time. I'm constantly worried about keeping my friendships up and running in choir - I see them more often than I see anyone bar my colleagues (once a week), so I want to have lots of friends among them!

Rescheduling suggests keenness - good luck! Hope you enjoy your coffee.

Also I'm seeing my lady twice over the weekend at social engagements, so hoping to make some gentle progress.

Balladeer wrote:

We actually had an okay talk on Monday, so it's probably just a matter of time.  I'm constantly worried about keeping my friendships up and running in choir - I see them more often than I see anyone bar my colleagues (once a week), so I want to have lots of friends among them!

Just go with the flow and everything will be fine. Friendships are very durable and you're a personable fellow, so I wouldn't worry there.

I ended up in the pub with an old friend last night instead, and it was nice to have a proper catch-up before we go on holiday next week.

Talking about friendships with someone, well this woman that I used to work with in the bakery but now I've moved to chilled.

Anyway we've hanged out a few times outside of work when we were on bakery, even went to the cinema together. Well we text a lot etc and I get this feeling she likes me just by texts like miss you etc she might just miss me as a friend in the bakery.

And she is stupidly out of my league, I wouldn't even try talking to her in a club or something if I didn't know her.

Reason I bring this up not from Balla's trouble is were seeing Fast 7 next week (I think) & even hanging out today, so it seem were going to spend time together, were both single but I don't want to anything stupid as I see her as a good friend.

Take a risk Mas. Based on your story, I think you are in for a good chance. Just see how it goes, but I would be inclined to go with honesty before you try anything and explain to her that you really like her, but you don't want to ruin a good friendship if she isn't interested that way. At least then you will only get mild embarrassment if it doesn't go your way. If it goes your way, then you get a lot more. Go for it, just take the softly approach. Good luck with it.

That's the thing, I can imagine it going around work afterwards.

masofdas wrote:

That's the thing, I can imagine it going around work afterwards.

If she is a nice person, as you indicate she is, and again, assuming she doesn't see you the way you would like, if you are a gentleman about it, she is unlikely to go around making fun at your expense. At worst she will be flattered, but not interested and you move on. It is only embarrassing if you see it that way.

I'm going it's a no go, didn't talk to her about it but we talked about life and things & I can tell it's a no go.

But I don't mind she's a good friend and final fantasy girl is more type but I just need to talk to her lol

masofdas wrote:

I'm going it's a no go, didn't talk to her about it but we talked about life and things & I can tell it's a no go.

But I don't mind she's a good friend and final fantasy girl is more type but I just need to talk to her lol

Just curious Mas, what specifically made you feel it was a no go if that isn't too personal?

I can just tell and I don't mind really as she is a good friend.

Quiz time, GNamers! Guess who, on Sunday 3rd May 2015, spent almost the entire afternoon with their current romantic interest (and other friends), including stolen kisses and holding hands in a restaurant; yet concluded this day by coming home and having a panic attack.

Hint: it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Aw, mate. :hug: That's similar to how I felt after my first date with Jo: you suddenly have a different set of problems. Really hoping it all works out.

Thanks Zero. :rehug: She's a top girl, just... different.

That sucks, Balla. If you don't mind sharing, what do you feel brought about the panic attack?