Dear Daisy, GNamer Romantic Mishaps Thread

It works out for me because I'm generally better at befriending people and going from there than the whole dating thing. I couldn't act like James Bond, strolling up to a lassie in a bar and wooing her with a smarmy line. I am quite good at getting close to people and then, if there is a connection, acting on it and if there isn't, staying as friends. Like Balla said, traditional pure "dating sites" are geared towards people who already get on with the dating scene IRL.

I could never do that. I'd be worried about interrupting the evening of some poor woman who was just looking for a good night out, and didn't want any excess attention. And most of the women I have dated would probably think like that.

Drunkalilly wrote:

. . . but yeah, I totally told you all just to make a lame Pokémon S&M joke, didn't I?

I think you just said somewhere, 'I'm into yer BDSM so it doesn't bother me a lick,' and I extrapolated from there!

Sounds good actually Drunka, you'll have to slide some info into my DMs as no harm in me trying.

ARGH WHY AM I SUCH A RIDICULOUS TEENAGE GIRL OF A HUMAN BEING WHY DO I HAVE A HEART LIFE IS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN IT DOESN'T GIVE ME HAPPINESS I WISH I WAS A ROBOT LIKE I KNOW I WISH I WAS A ROBOT ALL THE TIME BUT CURRENTLY I WISH THAT FOR A DIFFERENT REASON THAN THE USUAL REASONS.

Except I don't even wish that because even though this feeling is all-encompassing and infuriating and burns up my entire body and being from the inside out it's also the best feeling in the world and makes me feel alive like little else ever can.

Rant incoming, I just need to express my feelings somewhere because bottling them up will result in me exploding and doing something dumb.

I'm 100% gonna do something dumb soon anyway.

And I feel damn good about it.

:silent: :flower:

I... think this sounds like good news? Hope so anyway!

So. My story starts, as Drunka's stories often do, with me meeting a girl.

Actually, it probably starts a little before that. My first three months in Japan were spent, as you know, travelling from city to city, exploring, adventuring and sightseeing. I had no interest or time for pursuing romantic entanglements. Sure, I met ladies here and there, but was more than happy to just make friends.

Then, in May, I settled in Kyoto and began searching for work. I found myself a hostel job which offered free accommodation for 15 hours a week work, and booked some interviews for more long-term, full-time, paid gigs. I went for my two week stint on the farm, came back to Osaka and started work at the hostel. Just after settling into Osaka, I made a day trip to Nagano and interviewed for an English teaching job. I nailed it. They said I had a "natural gift", and they offered me the job there and then. The only issue was that they wanted me to starter sooner than the date I'd agreed to stay at the hostel.

For the next month or so, my main cause of stress was waiting for the hostel to find someone to replace me, hoping I could get to Nagano as soon as possible, worrying the opportunity might fall through or I might run out of money before I started earning. Just in the past week or two, that's all slotted into place and I have a definite date when I'll be moving. Only now, instead of being excited I'm dreading the day I leave.

So. My story starts, as Drunka's stories often do, with me meeting a girl.

She's an American girl, 1/4 Korean. She's beautiful and gorgeous, 'natch, and we share many passions and interests. Her favourite film, insanely, is Hot Fuzz, as filmed in mine and Muss' home town.

We met online and we've been talking for a couple of weeks. Some tentative messages lead to getting to know one another lead to arranging a date and getting to the point where we were texting constantly. The first date comes -in fact, we move it forwards a day because we're so excited to meet. We have a nice time, we like each other as much if not more in person, we rarely fall into that awkward first date silence. We hug and say our goodbyes, and we're already talking about meeting again.

We don't stop messaging. We arrange a second date.

It's super hot at the moment in Kansai so we decide the best date would just be hanging out in my nicely air-conditioned apartment and playing videogames. We do just that, I cook her dinner, we watch anime, it's lovely. She stays the night - all clothed and pleasant and proper, but it's cute and there's a lot of hugging and stroking and a little kiss on the lips.

She stays the entire next day. By the end of that morning, we'd played loads of games together, we'd kissed properly, we'd had amazing sex, we were getting on like a house on fire. She stays the night again. On the third day, she's wearing my clothes while I wash hers. We're so comfortable together, doing things jointly or just lying together on my bed playing our own 3DS games and talking casually. She wants to stay another night, but needs to get home.

We're talking all this time, we're well aware of each other's commitments and that we might not stay in the same country, let alone city. We're both so sure there's something here that we're already willing to plan around that to make it work.

Obviously, none of this so far is a problem. It's great. We're talking, we have plans for dinner tomorrow night and to hang out again this weekend.

The problem is that I am falling so hard and so fast. I've always done that to some extent, but this is so intense. I haven't felt like this since I was a teenager, I didn't know I still could feel like this. I feel so incredibly happy that the very existential knowledge that our time together is finite makes me want to cry constantly.

I stare at her face and, yeah she's beautiful, but as I look at her every specific thing about her becomes my type. I'm into cute noses like that because that's what she has. I love freckles under the eyes on a girl because she has freckles under her eyes. Her lips are perfect, her eyes are perfect, her body is all I can think about, she's all I can think about.

Speak to me a couple of weeks ago and I was excited to move to Nagano, and beyond that I don't have any plans or thoughts or dreams in life. Now, I want to work hard, I want to push my extra-curricular projects, I want to sweat and bleed and toil to know I've done everything in my power to get my life to the point where we can properly be together.



My heart is expanding with every second of every day, threatening to explode. It feels heavy, like its teetering on the edge of a great precipice and at any moment it could fall, crashing through my insides and dragging me with it into madness. I could wake up one morning and move to America with her and elope. My entire being is consumed by the blissful agony of feeling like I'm only one half of a greater whole.

I am so, so happy and it is killing me. I'm the unstable bald maniac- I can't handle having something to lose!

Hope it all works out and her plan is much like yours & get to both stay in Japan.

Not much I can add to what Mas said! Apart from saying that Hot Fuzz is a chuffing quality film and anyone who doesn't like it is clearly a fool. I'm glad your new girlfriend(?) isn't clearly a fool.

Good luck and good skill!

What's her plans for her time in Japan? Any lee-way for her coming to Nagano? Clearly you've hit it off really well though - those few days sound intense on an emotional level, but in a good way.

JayMoyles wrote:

What's her plans for her time in Japan? Any lee-way for her coming to Nagano?

She's a student just now, but she's very nearly done with her course. After that, she needs to find a job ASAP fro Visa purposes. Long-term there's plenty of room for her to come to Nagano or me to move to her, but if she doesn't get work that qualifies her to stay she'll have to head stateside for the time being. If that does happen though, she might be able to come and stay with me for a short while before she flies, which would obviously be amazing.

Quote :

Clearly you've hit it off really well though - those few days sound intense on an emotional level, but in a good way.

Intense? Yes. Exhausting? Yes. Amazing? Oh yes!

masofdas wrote:

Hope it all works out and her plan is much like yours & get to both stay in Japan.

I hope so too. I don't know if it will work out like that, but we'll make something of it either way I think.

Balladeer wrote:

I'm glad your new girlfriend(?) isn't clearly a fool.

Technically we've only been on two dates . . . but I like the sound of that.

I can only imagine your reaction if I told you six months ago you'd end up falling for somebody in the summertime when you moved to Japan. ...actually, you'd probably believe it, knowing you.

What does she study sir?

JayMoyles wrote:

I can only imagine your reaction if I told you six months ago you'd end up falling for somebody in the summertime when you moved to Japan. ...actually, you'd probably believe it, knowing you.

I'd have been like "yeah, obviously".

Balladeer wrote:

What does she study sir?

Japanese. She already has a degree in art and digital design, she's worked at some game companies before and now does more indie stuff and figure sculpting.

Game design? Man alive, you've chosen well!

Dude, I know.
These past six months almost got me reconsidering whether I believe in destiny and stuff.

I've always held the opinion that we like to think that it's destiny that we meet certain people or whatever, but I don't think there's a grand fated plan for any of us. We're all just really bloody lucky - or unlucky, in some cases - to meet the folks we meet.

In your case Drunka, super bloody lucky!

I believe in destiny.

I believe it's a money-grubbing can of worms that isn't actually much fun to play.

...boothisman.gif

Balladeer wrote:

I believe in destiny.

I believe it's a money-grubbing can of worms that isn't actually much fun to play.

This isn't based on any actual time playing the game, is it? Destiny has pretty fun shooting, there's a reason the addiction loop worked so well.

Nah, it's just a pun. (A shootybang online BBoP game? Nae ta.) It got the rise I wanted, it achieved its goal.

Well, I expounded on my thoughts on destiny (not Destiny) in the last (for the time being) A Luke At Japan.

So here's a new one to the thread, I believe: parents and girlfriends.

Basically my mum is still hung up on Nupkin, my previous girlfriend (five or so years ago). On one hand I can see why. Nupkin was very warm and outgoing and tried to get on with everyone, including my mum. The Lady is naturally very shy and private and takes a while to warm up to anyone. On the other hand, besides it being the most dreadful cliché (mum-in-law-to-be-potentially preferring the ex), Nupkin and I have been good friends for about 3.5 out of those five years, and in that time there's been no chemistry. None. Meanwhile, I've fallen in love with my girlfriend.

I know, crazy right!?

It's not the end of the world, but it is annoying. I like my family, and I like spending time with my family. I'm coming up to my 2y dating anniversary with the Lady, and it's getting to the point where I'd like her to spend a bit more time with my folks. But when she's already quiet, and finds my mum intense (she is), this sort of thing certainly doesn't help!

Hm, could be worthwhile having a chat with your mum about it before you next invite the girlfriend round to your folks' place. Considering the length of time you've been with her, you'd hope your mum will recognise how much you care about your girlfriend and start backing off from speaking about your ex as much.

To be fair she doesn't talk about that in front of the Lady, that'd be just awful and I'd probably yell at her.  She just mentioned it to me when I asked her how the evening went, and then continued mentioning it for a while. But I know it, and it'll influence how my mum does act around her, and it means I can't enthuse to the Lady about how well the evening went and buck up her spirits for the next time.  Which she needs.