Stu! Welcome back, totally unexpected but very much great to see you. I hope things are well, I can happily report things are going pretty fabulously too.
Cheers, Smurf!
Also great to hear about the baby Smurf! Congratulations!
masofdas The Next Miyamoto
Posts : 24018 Points : 24418 Join date : 2013-01-18 Age : 34 Location : VITA Island
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Sat 2 Oct 2021 - 11:39
Not really pissed off more of a annoyance and just sort like to talk to someone.
Few of you may remember my Dad's ill and still is 17 months later, last night or guess this morning as it went about 2am had another ambulance out. The guy was good and my Dad already back home after given morphine then back you go basically the few times this has happened.
It's just become draining more than anything and I know when I talk to my Doctor on Monday as I've not felt great myself past few weeks, it be ohh it's stress which likely is, just I don't know what to do about it all.
Like today because of the times of ambulance, having to pick up Dad, along with having to keep a eye on him. I've called into work as a dependent day, this is not the first time been other occasions like this. There's like counsellor person I'm talking to every few weeks about this, how I feel, she reckons how I talk about my Dad that I'm sort of a carer now that because of stuff like today I should be able to claim carer allowance, sure my Dad is more important than work just only so many days of someone can have, or even fuel driving around.
Sorry to bore you guys but only got so many people can talk to.
Treesmurf Dry Metal Baby Princess
Posts : 4204 Points : 4206 Join date : 2013-01-17 Age : 34 Location : Manneh
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Sat 2 Oct 2021 - 22:18
You've absolutely nothing to apologise for mate, does he have any carers who come to visit with it being long term as it might be worth asking if they can set something up if not, even if it's just to allow you a bit of time for yourself or give you some peace of mind that he's being checked on. Wish I could offer some actual concrete advice for you but what I can say is you're incredibly strong for being there as much as you can for him.
Muss Shiny Shuckle
Posts : 2557 Points : 2575 Join date : 2015-04-03 Location : The 5th Dimension
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Sun 3 Oct 2021 - 13:36
These sorts of things can be very physically and emotionally draining, especially when you're put in that situation of balancing work and home. Puts a big weight on your shoulders. Try not to feel guilty about the choices you make. Sounds like you want to prioritise your dad which is great and the right thing to do. but as you say you've got to work to and its important to keep doing things you enjoy too. There's no shame in feeling conflicted in this situation, which is why talking to your councilor if that's helping you is important. They might give you some means of helping you manage that conflict and help you work towards some sort of balance. Councillors are often goal oriented with their clients so they'll possibly have something in mind for you already, but to get the most out of them in my experience it helps to be honest about what you'd like to improve as that let's them target their sessions with you.
However, if what they're saying isn't working and you still have these stress symptoms then you should try to be open with that too if you can. When I was being Councillor I got referred higher up the food chain for my depression and anxiety. So it doesn't help everyone.
If you have the money to do so and you're not sure the councilors are enough, you might try finding a private therapist. It can get expensive but they're also a tier above a Councillor and you won't have to wait 9 months to see one like you would on the NHS. And they might also be qualified to diagnose you with something specific rather than stress or general anxiety as a GP would. Not saying you need to, but it could be an option to look into one day. If you stall with the gp and councilor. If there is something you should be diagnosed with, finding out earlier is always better and the NHS won't diagnose anything specific unless they give you a full psychiatric exam, and getting one of those os hard.
So 100% if you stall with councilors and your gp, have a look at rates for therapy in your area. If talking really helps you, that's what they specialise in. Your GP telling you it's stress is understandable, but all they'll probably do is refer you to a councilor or offer entry level depression medication if you push for it.
Sorry for the ramble, I might be blowing things out of proportion. I just know how hard it can be to manage your mental health so thought I'd share. What I'm basically trying to say is hang in there, soubds like you're doing a good job already, work through your feelings with a councilor and try not to be afraid of getting more support if that's what you need. The NHS is a bit crap with mental health to put it mildly so do consider private treatment if you can afford it, even if its just a few sessions. I hope things improve for your dad but it seems like you're doing everything anyone could reasonably expect you to.
masofdas The Next Miyamoto
Posts : 24018 Points : 24418 Join date : 2013-01-18 Age : 34 Location : VITA Island
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Sun 3 Oct 2021 - 15:33
Thanks guys, the councillor is via work and what I've been told by my a manager why I've got decentish health thing through work is they want you working, that I'm guessing the goal would be me at work not take days off.
I will see what GP says tomorrow, with my symptoms which is basically a cold (had a covid test) / having a bad panic attack type thing if something they do for me or as my GP is same as my Dad's that she will say stress because of stuff going on.
No career come visit him as I don't know how you would even go about that, then most days he's fine then be days like yesterday, or I'll do go do a food shop for him or take him to something that sort of thing.
Balladeer DIVINE LONELINESS
Posts : 26468 Points : 25302 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 35 Location : Admintown
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Mon 4 Oct 2021 - 9:50
Smurf is right, definitely no apology necessary - sounds like an awful spot to be in. Sadly from what I've heard from other people, Muss is right about the NHS and mental health. I can't really suggest anything to help and Muss is obviously vastly more experienced on this, so I'll just say I hope you and Masofdad both improve and that you can carve out some time for your own piece of mind.
Buskalilly Galactic Nova
Posts : 15082 Points : 15260 Join date : 2013-02-25 Age : 34 Location : Nagano
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Tue 5 Oct 2021 - 6:24
Sounds like a tough one, Mas, especially as you're not in the kind of job you could rearrange, work from home or take an extended leave from. I hope they can be understanding and offer practical solutions.
I had a long talk with my best friend over here yesterday which saw us both in tears at points; he's found out his dad has only 1-3 months left and I opened up about losing my grandfather last year (whom I was closer to than either of my parents). He's wanting to try to go back to Canada for a bit but with work, VISAs and so on, it's a lot to deal with. At the moment, he's manager of our department and I'm just below him, so the situation will probably be me carrying the company for a month or so while he's out.
Balladeer DIVINE LONELINESS
Posts : 26468 Points : 25302 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 35 Location : Admintown
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Tue 5 Oct 2021 - 10:29
Acht, that's shite. Good luck carrying the company Buska, and hope he gets to go back, natch.
Muss Shiny Shuckle
Posts : 2557 Points : 2575 Join date : 2015-04-03 Location : The 5th Dimension
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Tue 5 Oct 2021 - 11:45
Ah you're getting the counselling through work. That could be good if they're understanding and there are good support mechanisms in place, hope there are.
Most mental health treatment in this country is CBT focused, which is generally what councillors offer after your first few sessions with them. That can really work for some people, but CBT is really about giving people methods to deal with their symptoms when they arise as opposed to confronting and dealing with the trauma that's caused those symptoms. E.g., do X when you recognise you might have a panic attack. For some people that's enough to help them over a rough patch and get back to feeling better. It can also work long term for some people as well.
If you keep seeing a councillor, which I think you should, then that's probably what will happen. You can also self-refer to NHS councillors in your area if you want more support. They're generally a good place to start as you will talk things through and they might also be able to point you towards any extra support you could apply for regarding your home situation. But if you're not improving as you're seeing these people then don't be ashamed. They aren't silver bullets that work for everyone and it's worth asking them about what other options you have/looking into what other mental health practices are in your area.
Hope your situation also works out Buska, sounds tricky.
Buskalilly Galactic Nova
Posts : 15082 Points : 15260 Join date : 2013-02-25 Age : 34 Location : Nagano
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Tue 5 Oct 2021 - 12:03
To be honest, all the trickiness is on his part- all I have to be is supportive and then presumably work really busy days for a bit. I'll have a lot on my plate, but not difficult decision making.
Andy, Jay and I were talking a lot about CBT as we played Monhan the other night.
stu_the_great Stability Update
Posts : 132 Points : 136 Join date : 2021-09-13 Location : Your Mum
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Wed 6 Oct 2021 - 8:57
Sorry to read that you're having a bit of a rough time at the moment, Mas, and you too, Buska.
Mas: I totally understand the panic attack, especially considering your circumstances with your Dad being unwell.
gjones Disciple of Scullion
Posts : 1671 Points : 1704 Join date : 2015-01-12 Age : 37 Location : Swindon
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Wed 6 Oct 2021 - 12:21
masofdas wrote:
Sorry to bore you guys but only got so many people can talk to.
Don't be sorry mate, talking is the best thing you can do. Ask your GP about talking therapy sessions - I was battling depression for years and found just sitting in a room with other people, hearing how others are in similar mental states and the things we all do to cope with it, is a great help. CBT is definitely the thing they go through and it's really interesting to see how your body and brain cope with different scenarios. Panic attacks are nothing to sneeze at (I had one whilst driving) so definitely seek professional advice.
Muss wrote:
But if you're not improving as you're seeing these people then don't be ashamed. They aren't silver bullets that work for everyone and it's worth asking them about what other options you have/looking into what other mental health practices are in your area.
This is a great point.
Muss wrote:
The NHS is a bit crap with mental health, to put it mildly
There is some truth to this, however. When I changed GP and stopped the talking therapy, I was put on stronger anti-depressants and left to my own devices. They didn't chase me to check I'm taking them, which I wasn't because they gave me the shits.
Best thing to do if you're in a bad way mentally is have a chat, either with mates, us lot, or randoms. It definitely helps.
The Cappuccino Kid Mani Mani Statue
Posts : 6742 Points : 6905 Join date : 2013-02-25 Age : 105 Location : East of Mombasa
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Wed 6 Oct 2021 - 15:38
gjones wrote:
Best thing to do if you're in a bad way mentally is have a chat, either with mates, us lot, or randoms. It definitely helps.
I’m no mental health practitioner nor councillor, but I work closely enough with various mental health charities and therapeutic services to understand that, aye, these relationships in a reflective space can be really advantageous.
The National Union of Students Scotland also provided me with this list of information, self-help and self-advocacy websites and apps for anybody who’d like to explore these:
Info, Self-Help & Self-Advocacy Websites/Apps:
Websites
See Me Scotland - http://www.seemescotland.org.uk - the anti-stigma campaign in Scotland.
Young Minds - http://www.youngminds.org.uk - an organisation based in England looking at a lot of the issues young people with mental health problems face. Contains insightful personal blogs and articles.
The Mental Health Foundation - http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk - UK mental health research, policy and service improvement charity.
Breathing Space - http://www.breathingspacescotland.co.uk - You can call 0800 838587 open 6pm-2am Monday – Thursday and from 6pm Fri - Monday 6am.
Samaritans - http://www.samaritans.org - call 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org or text: 07725 90 90 90 - 24 hours a day.
The Scottish Association for Mental Health - http://www.samh.org.uk - Scottish charity providing help, information and support around mental ill health and campaigning on behalf of people with mental health problems
Self Harm.co.uk - http://selfharm.co.uk lots of information, advice and personal stories around self harm, particularly focused on young people.
Life Signs - http://www.lifesigns.org.uk/ user generated and interactive website around self harm, contains a great deal of information and support.
Beat - http://www.b-eat.co.uk - the UK's eating disorder organisation supporting people affected by eating disorders, their family members and friends, and campaigning on their behalf.
Men Get Eating Disorders Too - http://mengetedstoo.co.uk a national charity representing and supporting the needs of men with eating disorders.
Anxiety UK - http://www.anxietyuk.org.uk - national charity for those affected by anxiety disorders.
Mood Gym - https://moodgym.anu.edu.au - an Australian Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) website which is free to use and interactive.
Get Self Help - http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk - lots of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and other supportive resources for a range of mental health problems.
Reach Out – http://reachout.com -a comprehensive portal for young people that enables them to find information, use apps, and find help with mental health and wellbeing. Originally in Australia the model has been exported to Ireland and the USA, content is available here.
OCD-UK - http://www.ocduk.org - service user led charity supporting children and adults affected by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Bipolar Scotland - http://www.bipolarscotland.org.uk - information and support for those with bipolar disorder and those who care for and about them.
Support in Mind - http://www.supportinmindscotland.org.uk - was the National Schizophrenia Fellowship (Scotland) and provides services, information and support for those affected by schizophrenia and their carers.
Hearing Voices Network - http://www.hearing-voices.org - provides information as well as local groups and projects. This is for anyone who hears voices, sees visions or has any other unusual perceptions.
Scottish Recovery Network - http://www.scottishrecovery.net - lots of information and stories of recovery from mental ill health.
Living Life to the Full - http://www.llttf.com/ - free online Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) course.
Youth Health Talk – http://youthhealthtalk.org - a website of young people’s experiences to get advice and support from other young people in the same situation.
Innovation Labs - http://www.innovationlabs.org.uk - a list of all the apps and websites produced or currently being designed to improve mental health. They are created through a process of coproduction between young people, health professionals and digital experts.
Re-capture- http://re-captureproject.com/ - online and offline gallery of personal stories of recovery from eating disorders. Entries combine words and a photograph to create powerful images of hope.
The Butterfly Project - http://butterfly-project.tumblr.com - online campaign to encourage alternatives to self-harm.
1 Million Reasons to Live - http://1000000reasons.tumblr.com - started as a suicide prevention Tumblr, where users can submit a “reason to live” and look at others reasons, with the aim of inspiring hope and as a distraction from negative thoughts.
Moodscope - https://www.moodscope.com - measure your mood each day by flipping 20 cards with emotions such as “nervous” and “alert” to a score from 0-3 depending on how strongly you feel it. Moodscope turns your scores into a percentage and tracks on a graph you can add notes to and see what triggers both good and bad days. You can have your scores emailed to a friend or family member.
Doc Ready – http://docready.org - useful resource developed by young people, a website which allows people to create a plan for a visit to a GP to discuss their mental health, also containing information and advice.
Scotland’s Mental Health First Aid - http://www.smhfa.com - the Scotland’s Mental Health First Aid information website.
Choose Life - http://www.chooselife.net – information on suicide prevention and Scotland’s suicide prevention strategy, includes ASIST and SafeTalk training.
ASH Scotland - http://www.ashscotland.org.uk - independent Scottish charity taking action to reduce the harm caused by tobacco.
Apps
R2Q Ready to Quit smoking - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.r2q.app https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/r2q-ready-to-quit-smoking/id893239396?mt=8 – very popular smoking cessation app developed by NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde
NHS Smokefree - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.doh.smokefree&hl=en_GB https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/smokefree/id687298065?mt=8 – four week smoking cessation programme in an app with support, advice, information and encouragement personalised to your needs
Buddhify - http://buddhify.com - popular app, you select what you are currently doing (walking, trying to sleep, using the internet, on a train etc.) and a guided meditation to match. It also has a community feel, telling you how many people have followed the meditations that day for example. The app costs £1.99 and is widely used due to the number and variety of meditations.
Headspace - http://www.getsomeheadspace.com - free ten day mindfulness programme (which you keep so can use the ten days any time) and paid if you want more.
Smiling Mind - http://smilingmind.com.au - meditation for every age, in four categories - age 7–11, 12–15, 16–22 and adult.
SAM – Self-help for Anxiety Management - http://sam-app.org.uk - helps people to understand what causes their anxiety, monitor their anxious thoughts and behaviours over time and manage their anxiety through self-help exercises and private reflection. Also enables sharing of experiences with the SAM community while protecting your identity.
Five Ways to Wellbeing – http://apps.nhs.uk/app/five-ways-to-wellbeing - aims to help people feel happier and healthier by encouraging them to do simple things under the headings of connect, be active, take notice, keep learning and give. It allows people to reflect on their wellbeing, set activities to help improve their wellbeing and track their progress.
Stop Breathe and Think - http://stopbreathethink.org/ This app allows you to “check in” and log your current mood and physical state, and then suggests guided meditations linked to your result. It also creates a log of your check ins and meditations
Flowy – http://www.flowygame.com - Flowy is a game that digitally delivers breathing retraining, the oldest technique known to reduce anxiety. It is currently in the testing stages so you can download and use it and provide feedback to improve it. It is designed to limit the symptoms of panic and anxiety attacks.
Breathe2Relax - http://t2health.dcoe.mil/apps/breathe2relax - Teaches diaphragmatic breathing to help you relax through coaching you with timers and images, as well as providing information on stress and relaxing.
Mind Of My Own (MOMO) - http://mindofmyown.org.uk - self advocacy app young people to use in advance of or at any meetings with social care services, health professions, and teachers etc. It goes through a series of questions and creates a document that can be shared with professionals to enhance communication between them and young people they are supporting.
masofdas The Next Miyamoto
Posts : 24018 Points : 24418 Join date : 2013-01-18 Age : 34 Location : VITA Island
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Fri 29 Oct 2021 - 22:31
Thanks again guys
I've got a week off soon and said before about going on a holiday, which I never do but these past few years been rough that I'm actually going away for both weekends I'm off.
First I'm going to Brighton where I've never been, mate's band have a gig that weekend, Bighton FC are home to Newcastle which I'm seeing if I can get tickets and Games Asylum lives there, so I may bump into him.
The following weekend is just to EofGiz in brizzle to watch AEW PPV with him and CW along with going to Yate v Taunton in the afternoon.
If any of ya (Why do I feel Balla will have) been Brighton, anything part from the obvious like the Dome thing worth checking out?
Balladeer DIVINE LONELINESS
Posts : 26468 Points : 25302 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 35 Location : Admintown
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Sat 30 Oct 2021 - 10:37
I have , but only on a NaNoWriMo brief tour! So it was basically, walk along the seafront finding places to write: not very helpful for your purposes. The Lady went to university in Brighton: I could ask her?
masofdas The Next Miyamoto
Posts : 24018 Points : 24418 Join date : 2013-01-18 Age : 34 Location : VITA Island
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Sat 30 Oct 2021 - 11:05
Up to you, mate.
Balladeer DIVINE LONELINESS
Posts : 26468 Points : 25302 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 35 Location : Admintown
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Sun 31 Oct 2021 - 8:57
She's useless, doesn't remember anything apart from clubs and bars. Sorry.
Buskalilly Galactic Nova
Posts : 15082 Points : 15260 Join date : 2013-02-25 Age : 34 Location : Nagano
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Sun 31 Oct 2021 - 12:25
A break can do wonders Mas. And definitely check out those matches! I bumped into an old colleague today and we're hopefully gonna catch a Matsumoto match soon.
Speaking of breaks, spent two days by a lake under Mt Fuji a week ago. Bootiful.
masofdas The Next Miyamoto
Posts : 24018 Points : 24418 Join date : 2013-01-18 Age : 34 Location : VITA Island
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Wed 3 Nov 2021 - 9:38
I did manage to get a ticket to the Brighton v Newcastle game in Heineken Lounge seating, so kinda fancy, especially when following week be standing in the rain.
I know there's a holiday thread somewhere, so when I'm there got pictures of the Pavilion, Football, Gig etc will revive that old thread.
Treesmurf Dry Metal Baby Princess
Posts : 4204 Points : 4206 Join date : 2013-01-17 Age : 34 Location : Manneh
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Wed 3 Nov 2021 - 12:31
Brighton has a couple of decent of arcades I think? Would have no idea where but I seem to remember a pier with an arcade being mentioned on the radio the other week.
Balladeer DIVINE LONELINESS
Posts : 26468 Points : 25302 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 35 Location : Admintown
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Wed 3 Nov 2021 - 22:04
Top soundtrack to that Fuji video.
Balladeer DIVINE LONELINESS
Posts : 26468 Points : 25302 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 35 Location : Admintown
Subject: Re: Chat Thread: Tokyo Drift Wed 26 Jan 2022 - 21:35
masofdas wrote:
I want to know what Balla's new picture is?
Obviously it's a posh cockatoo wielding a hammer.
(From Beast Breaker.)
Jimbob wrote:
Balla, your avatar changed between me sending my votes and getting a response, so I have a feeling I've sent them to some kind of pirate hacker bot thing.
More like a parrot hacker bot thing! Ahahahahahaaaaa... Why does nobody find me funny
Balladeer DIVINE LONELINESS
Posts : 26468 Points : 25302 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 35 Location : Admintown
I should probably change that avatar again. Couldn't find any good pictures of Mio though. Never mind.
Anyway, triple-post. I haven't been active this past week because I got dragged off for a family wedding in Inverness. I do not recommend the sleeper trains from London to Inverness: I couldn't stretch out both arms in my berth. The wedding was a pain in the backside too: the venue was in the middle of nowhere, meaning we were basically obliged to stay in the villas around it. That meant us old fogeys shoved into accommodation with the groom's mates, the latter coming in at stupid o'clock at night and waking my family up. The speeches were dire too.
My family were pathetically grateful for Mario Kart. We hooked the Switch up to the telly, and while everyone else was being forced into a ceilidh, we sodded off and played that. It was great. Mario Kart preserves family peace.
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Fri 17 Sep 2021 - 20:53
Sadly from what I've heard from other people, Muss is right about the NHS and mental health. I can't really suggest anything to help and Muss is obviously vastly more experienced on this, so I'll just say I hope you and Masofdad both improve and that you can carve out some time for your own piece of mind.
, but only on a NaNoWriMo brief tour! So it was basically, walk along the seafront finding places to write: not very helpful for your purposes. The Lady went to university in Brighton: I could ask her?
