Kirby's rumour buffet!

Good shout. Also it's funnier when it comes from you.

Capitalising on what's popular at the moment, Nintendo plan on launching Super Mario Baker to save the Wii U's, er, bake on.

The cake Peach bakes for you in Super Mario 64 is the final boss.

So no-one's going to reply with "Are you a kid or an arachnid?"? Honestly, what are we paying you for?!

First picture of the NX leaked!

Spoiler:

...I don't get this one.

Yeah, this one's obscure.

Spoilers for yesterday's Doctor Who:

Ah - haven't kept up with Doctor Who this series. I thought you were making a jab about the NX being "stark" or something.

News has reached us from the normally tight-lipped Nintendo about a title they're hoping will launch with the NX. It's a crossover of two of their biggest franchises: Zelda and Pokémon. The expansive fields of Hyrule will teem with 'mon, as will Gerudo Desert and Lake Hylia. The Master Sword will give Link control over the friendly monsters as he, and they, battle against the twin horrors of Ganon and Team Rocket. Get ready... for Tri Force Fearows.

You know, boo-this-man inducing title aside, I would play the hell out of that.

Rumours suggest the NX will be a baby's toy you play with your hands?

Drunkalilly wrote:

Rumours suggest the NX will be a baby's toy you play with your hands?

Top banana.

Nintendo of Europe has recalled all copies of Chibi-Robo!: Zip Lash in the U.K. due to some "undiscovered" and "crass" product placement in an "undiscovered" "hate speeches" level. In one shocking example, toys in the game are understood to make several lurid references to how much they love "Luke Summerhayes' Patented Hot Super Silly Sexy Christmassy Red, White And Green-With-Tinsel-At-The-Top-Of-The-Bell Knitted Festive Willy Warmers".

That Twilight Princess HD remaster that you're all expected to be announced at this week's Nintendo Direct? Rumour has it that it's actually Twilight Princess 2D, which is a platformer with a new and exciting "zip lash" mechanic.

BREAKING: Exclusive footage

Following the announcement that Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam will be retitled Paper Jam Bros. in Europe and Australia, our GNamer GNaming GNews Gnus have delivered this nugget of info: Nintendo are retroactively adding the word 'Bros.' to the end of any past game that has the word 'Mario' in the title. From Thursday we will have to talk about, amongst others, Mario Kart Wii Bros., Dr. Mario Bros., Mario Is Missing Bros. (who isn't?) and Super Mario Bros. Bros.

That makes Nintendo sound like a frat boy.

Another ND leak: there'll be a big focus on Yooka-Laylee, although not as you know it. The game's undergoing a radical overhaul, with the titular chameleon replaced by a Greek philosopher, and the "Pagie" collectables are replaced by "dialogues". Also, confirmation that Yooka and Laylee aren't dating, but are just really really good friends. The company is also changing its name to Platonic.

This is a pun I can get behind.

With the Twilight Princess HD reveal, titbits of the original's development are coming to light. One of the original ideas was that Link would turn into a rabbit in the Twilight Realm, in a nod to A Link To The Past. This was quickly kiboshed by Nintendo's higher-ups of the time when they saw footage of the Link rabbit going for the jugular of a foe, as they didn't want children to become frightened of their own pets.

Reggie heavily pushed for the rabbit transformation's inclusion in the game, being quoted as saying "the animal world is a nasty place. It's kill or be killed. How do you think I became President of Nintendo of America?"

Super Mario to be renamed 'Arseface'.

I can't wait to play Arseface Galaxy again.

Nintendo have decided to continue to shy away from "traditional" 3D Mario games and plough ahead with the Super Mario 3D X series. Trouble is, they're running out of ideas. After Super Mario 3D Universe, Super Mario 3D Kingdom, and of course Super Mario 3D Galaxy, the next ones on the list are Super Mario 3D Afghanistan, Super Mario 3D Council Estate, and Super Mario 3D Inside the M25.