| Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread | |
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+3Crumpy Andy Balladeer JayMoyles 7 posters |
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Should we write about established characters in an established setting? | Yes! | | 0% | [ 0 ] | Established characters in an original world | | 33% | [ 2 ] | Original characters in an established world | | 0% | [ 0 ] | No - totally original idea! | | 50% | [ 3 ] | Let's write about Buska going for a pint | | 17% | [ 1 ] |
| Total Votes : 6 | | Poll closed |
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JayMoyles Galactic Nova
Posts : 15896 Points : 15061 Join date : 2013-01-21 Age : 31 Location : The Shibuya River
| Subject: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sat 1 Mar 2014 - 15:39 | |
| Howdy friends. Just this week past I was sitting in a lecture daydreaming, and I had a hankering to do some writing. Then, my mind drifted back several years to the Old Place, and to one of my personal highlights there - the forum fictions. So, would any of you lovely lot be interested in crowd-writing a story? And if so, what should we write about? Summary thus far: - Spoiler:
Summary of first two 'rounds': Prior to the story, Lucia Velli meets up with her brother Luka in a tavern. They’ve not been on good terms, due to Luka’s earlier dangerous plots and an as-yet unrevealed unpleasantness with “father”. (If that refers to their real father, he’s dead now. The rest of the Velli family are all dead.) Together, they plot to steal something from the Royal Palace, situated on the Island of Kings, at the Winter’s Ball. Behind a door in that palace, locked with a key the King keeps on his person, is an undescribed item known as the MacGuffin.
“Guests” to this ball include Lucia, because Luka “arranged” for her to attend; a masked man, who gets past palace guard Dick (who probably votes UKIP) without producing an invitation; Charles “Chuck” Eagle, reluctant heir to the Eagle Magic Technologies empire; and other notables. Luka is already in, having snuck in using a supply cart. Head Servant Ronald Harrison is in charge of setting up the seating.
At the party, Lucia has convinced the head housekeeper (presumably a different person to Harrison) to strengthen the wine. She mingles, pretends not to see her brother, and clutches a locket containing a key in her cleavage. Chuck misses his books, downs drinks and heads quickly to the lavatory. Luka hides himself in a servant’s quarters. Outside, Dick and his young partner shiver; the former is armed with a spear for show, a sword and a lightning gun, none of which are any defence against the charms of a couple of lady vampires.
Harrison discovers a small black box in the kitchen. Leaving his deputy Cooper in charge, he goes to his friend Hieronymus, the King’s Chief Engineer, for advice; the box astonishes Hieronymus, who hasn’t seen one in years. In the absence of any serving staff, the masked man emerges in the kitchen. He pours something (later revealed to be the illegal drug psychoquina) over some goodies.
Eventually, the guests are called to their seats. Lucia makes the acquaintance of the rather brash Captain Francis Parker, Head of Palace Security.
Above them, the royals are preparing to descend. These include the withered old wheelchair-bound king, his rather more active spouse, and twin princes, the charismatic Douglas and the bitter Harlan. Douglas asks Cooper about the guests in Harrison’s absence, telling him to ask Lucia Velli for the first dance, and laughing at him when opera singer Madame Olivia de Rosetta’s seat is taken by the masked man. Cooper rushes downstairs to sort things out.
Back outside, Dick is eventually relieved by a cocky dragon called Rik’Shal/Roger, and decides to enter the palace to find the masked man (and the vampires). He rejects an automaton’s aid in unlocking the secret side entrance.
The royals come down through the Magiglass ceiling, to the astonishment of the crowd. At the same time, Cooper tries to ask the masked man to leave, but forgets what he’s doing. Douglas gives the customary speech; far away, at least one automaton takes offence to it.
Chuck is forced out of the hall prior to the speech, and remains stuck in the men’s lavatory while it goes on. He does see something, though: a pair of red heels asking Francis about the location of the black box, and stabbing him with his own sword. He eventually staggers back to his place as the speech finishes, mistakes Lucia next to him for the murderess, and is speechless while Cooper demands the first dance of her. Afterwards, he (Cooper) heads to the lavatory, and reveals himself to be metal.
The first two rounds of posts end with Rik’Shal having his head crushed by a charging automaton.
- Moar summary:
We rejoin Cooper, sitting in the bathroom and expositing. He's an automaton, and he's confused. He chats in his mind to the Brass Commander, who seems to have "a soul" and has given or is going to give "the gift of freedom" to automata. He (Cooper) can't get the king's key, the masked man is apparently a Time Magus and has brought a box (same box? Different box? How does Cooper know?), and the operation involving The Item must be put on hold. The BC apparently agrees. However, a few moments later, it changes its mind, and the bewildered Cooper is left trying to organise for an attack. Instead, he ends up near the MacGuffin door, which can be unsealed with just one key. In the Great Hall, the king and queen bicker about "her" while Prince Douglas flirts with Lucia. Then the Duke of the Low Forest, an industrial elf, is poisoned by the psychoquina used by the Time Magus earlier. Soon everyone else begins to suffer: Lucia witnesses the masked man make his escape, and tries to take the king's key in the confusion, but an attack on the palace is announced and she decides to play drugged instead. She witnesses automata step in and kill a guard, and crawls over to the sober but terrified Chuck. She witnesses the BC take the king's key, and say, "We are going to set her free." Outside the hall, the masked man kills a dragon guard, out of "guilt". Dick finally makes it through the locked door, and is set upon by a pair of automata. Having placed Harrison in an "Invincible Booth", Hieronymus is approached by the BC, who calls him "father" and gives him a key (probably the key). Hieronymus seems to expect this. Luka Velli hears... not much, and is perturbed. He fears for his sister, "one of the only Vellis who would acknowledge him" - because the others are dead? He finds a dead servant, and then his sister, who is crawling out of the great hall. They reunite, and plan to steal a rowboat from the dock and escape: a copper puts paid to this idea, but the injured Luka is saved by Chuck with Luka's rapier. Apparently you can learn how to cut up a copper from books. At this stage, Cooper has checked out the revolution and is having doubts. He meets the BC by the MacGuffin's door. The conversation goes along these lines: "Y U attack?" "Be glad for the drugs LOL. But they weren't part of his plan." "Whose plan?" "He don't trust you, weirdo." "Am not weird." "Are too. I'm weird, but you're more weird. Show you my mechanics if you'll show me yours." "NO U." "Wait, no, he says deal with fleshies. Go do that instead." And Cooper leaves with "his heart thumping. Not ticking: thumping." Harrison is freed from his booth after over an hour (or what seems to him like an hour - who knows what Hieronymus can do to time in there? ), and asks Hiero about the box. It is unlocked by a key and and a magical seal, and contains... another key, this one a flat disk with protrusions. They leave to investigate, the castle almost silent, and find Dick being attacked. After Hiero disables the robots, Harrison takes Dick upstairs to the kitchen to get him a brandy. He bounds up further stairs to find the great hall full of the psychoquinated, and reveals that he's been on national service before. Left alone, Hiero is cornered by exposition in red heels. She accuses him of having the box stolen from a tower, via two automata and Francis Parker, who she has "broken", and tricking Harrison to bring it to him. Season 1 ends with an implication that Hiero is involved with the Time Magi over his head.
Questions to be answered: - Apparent answers to questions based on summary one, and more questions:
What's in the box? A key - the key to The MacGuffin's door, perhaps?
What does the key in the first box unlock?
Did the masked man bring a box to the party? How does Cooper know about it?
What exactly IS the Macguffin/Item? If they're one and the same, based on the BC's words, it seems that whatever inside is a "she". Everything else is unknown.
Who is "she/it" that the royal parents refer to?
Who is the masked man? A Time Magus, according to Cooper - who is guilty about something, and likes using illegal drugs.
Why is the masked man involved, and what does he feel guilty about?
What's the endgame for the copper men? Assuming that the BC has already given them his "freedom", there's one line that sticks out: "We are here to do what you lacked the courage for. We are going to set her free."
How is Cooper different from the other coppers? And what about the BC, with his "soul"?
What's going on behind Hieronymus' funny spectacles? Did he order the attack to go ahead, overriding Cooper, and if so why?
Who murdered Francis Parker, framing Lucia Velli in the process? The woman with the sword, who has links to the Time Magi and "knows" just what Hiero has done.
Who is the woman who killed Frankie Parkie?
What was the incident with "father" between the Vellis? Is it their real father, who is now presumed dead?
Will Chuck get laid? Chuck x Lucia OTP. <3
Last edited by JayMoyles on Wed 28 May 2014 - 1:29; edited 6 times in total |
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Balladeer DIVINE LONELINESS
Posts : 26468 Points : 25302 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 35 Location : Admintown
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sat 1 Mar 2014 - 17:17 | |
| You know I'm always up for some silly writing! But I'll wait until someone (anyone) else signs on board before suggesting ideas. I've tried to keep a forum fiction afloat as part of a two-person group on a couple of occasions, and it's not fun. |
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JayMoyles Galactic Nova
Posts : 15896 Points : 15061 Join date : 2013-01-21 Age : 31 Location : The Shibuya River
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sat 1 Mar 2014 - 17:45 | |
| Yeah, the more of us that we can get on board, the better.
Don't feel like you have to be amazing at writing either if you want to join in! It's hardly going to be War and Peace that we churn out. |
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Crumpy Andy Zeta Metroid
Posts : 4921 Points : 4933 Join date : 2013-01-15 Age : 32 Location : The South
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sat 1 Mar 2014 - 18:22 | |
| I'd be up for giving it a shot, though I'm not sure I'm good enough to write Mr Happy let alone much else! |
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Balladeer DIVINE LONELINESS
Posts : 26468 Points : 25302 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 35 Location : Admintown
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sat 1 Mar 2014 - 18:31 | |
| Ooh wow, I didn't think we'd actually get a third! That means I'm actually going to have to go away and think up an idea.
Tenderloin Minimise in the Case of the Blind Bonker. |
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JayMoyles Galactic Nova
Posts : 15896 Points : 15061 Join date : 2013-01-21 Age : 31 Location : The Shibuya River
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sat 1 Mar 2014 - 19:38 | |
| Something with swords and intrigue. |
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Crumpy Andy Zeta Metroid
Posts : 4921 Points : 4933 Join date : 2013-01-15 Age : 32 Location : The South
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sat 1 Mar 2014 - 19:41 | |
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beemoh Koopaling
Posts : 2007 Points : 2050 Join date : 2013-01-15 Age : 39 Location : Writing and arithmetic
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sat 1 Mar 2014 - 19:55 | |
| I'm up for this. However, expect something not dissimilar to my performance in the RPG thread. |
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JayMoyles Galactic Nova
Posts : 15896 Points : 15061 Join date : 2013-01-21 Age : 31 Location : The Shibuya River
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sat 1 Mar 2014 - 20:30 | |
| I wouldn't expect anything else. I'd love to see a mish-mash of styles progressing through a singular plot. |
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beemoh Koopaling
Posts : 2007 Points : 2050 Join date : 2013-01-15 Age : 39 Location : Writing and arithmetic
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sat 1 Mar 2014 - 20:32 | |
| - JayMoyles wrote:
- I wouldn't expect anything else.
I'd love to see a mish-mash of styles progressing through a singular plot. #TwitchWritesAStory |
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JayMoyles Galactic Nova
Posts : 15896 Points : 15061 Join date : 2013-01-21 Age : 31 Location : The Shibuya River
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sat 1 Mar 2014 - 20:41 | |
| Walking out the door, Red UP UP UP UP DOWN B B START made his way over to Professor Oak's START B B B LEFT LEFT ANARCHY ANARCHY laboratory to choose his first DEMOCRACY PRAISE HELIX UP UP STOP THE VOICES STOPTHEVOICES STOPTHEVO- |
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Buskalilly Galactic Nova
Posts : 15082 Points : 15260 Join date : 2013-02-25 Age : 34 Location : Nagano
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sat 1 Mar 2014 - 22:55 | |
| I'd be up for that. I'd like to write a story about an elderly toilet cleaner who works at the Vatican. |
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Balladeer DIVINE LONELINESS
Posts : 26468 Points : 25302 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 35 Location : Admintown
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sun 2 Mar 2014 - 8:55 | |
| - JayMoyles wrote:
- Something with swords and intrigue.
- andyman949 wrote:
- Superpowers!
So, Marvel vs. Skyrim? (I know precious little about either of those universes, so hopefully not.) |
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JayMoyles Galactic Nova
Posts : 15896 Points : 15061 Join date : 2013-01-21 Age : 31 Location : The Shibuya River
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sun 2 Mar 2014 - 12:39 | |
| Writing about Iron Man battling a dragon would be decent. |
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Crumpy Andy Zeta Metroid
Posts : 4921 Points : 4933 Join date : 2013-01-15 Age : 32 Location : The South
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sun 2 Mar 2014 - 13:28 | |
| I'd like to see Hulk Vs a Giant! |
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Rum Disciple of Greener
Posts : 1492 Points : 1508 Join date : 2013-01-20 Age : 33 Location : Edinburgh
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sun 2 Mar 2014 - 13:53 | |
| I don't really want to contribute, but I DO want to see gems like this tweet incorporated into your work.
Edit: Actually, maybe this would be better? |
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JayMoyles Galactic Nova
Posts : 15896 Points : 15061 Join date : 2013-01-21 Age : 31 Location : The Shibuya River
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sun 2 Mar 2014 - 14:40 | |
| Pikachu Goes Rogue - A GNamer Crime Story. |
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Balladeer DIVINE LONELINESS
Posts : 26468 Points : 25302 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 35 Location : Admintown
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sun 2 Mar 2014 - 16:52 | |
| Jay, I'm wondering whether it might not be sensible to have a bit more structure to this story, the first time around anyway? I'm just conscious that some of our previous FFs rather withered a bit, as they went on with no end in sight.
For example, if we have five people writing, maybe you-me-Andy-Beemoh-Buska alternating, for four passages each (length no object)? (And perhaps a time-limit for everyone to write their bit - two days, say, then if you miss it, you could write your bit later?)
I know that the freeform approach is a lot of the thrill of this sort of thing, but I'm wondering if having an end goal might help for the first one.
Last edited by Balladeer on Sun 2 Mar 2014 - 17:21; edited 1 time in total |
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Buskalilly Galactic Nova
Posts : 15082 Points : 15260 Join date : 2013-02-25 Age : 34 Location : Nagano
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sun 2 Mar 2014 - 17:14 | |
| I like the time rule, even if we don't have an end goal. Just to keep the bugger moving.
I want to write a story about a sad clown in turn-of-the-century Paris. |
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Buskalilly Galactic Nova
Posts : 15082 Points : 15260 Join date : 2013-02-25 Age : 34 Location : Nagano
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sun 2 Mar 2014 - 17:15 | |
| - andyman949 wrote:
- Superpowers!
Like cold war Russia? |
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JayMoyles Galactic Nova
Posts : 15896 Points : 15061 Join date : 2013-01-21 Age : 31 Location : The Shibuya River
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sun 2 Mar 2014 - 21:04 | |
| Yeah, I'd envisaged a rough end goal and general setting being proposed before we actually leaped into it. However, I don't think we should steamroll our way towards the end but rather take some liberty with the path we lay out for ourselves.
The rota/time goal works well too.
I'd say wait a couple of more days to see if we can attract any others to a brainstorming session then we can fully begin drafting up an idea of what to write about. In the meantime, poll! |
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Balladeer DIVINE LONELINESS
Posts : 26468 Points : 25302 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 35 Location : Admintown
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sun 2 Mar 2014 - 21:22 | |
| That fifth option does look appealing. Buska in Alcoland? In seriousness, I don't mind. I voted for option 2, but I don't mind options 1 or 3 either. I think we should have some established material in there, though, to provide a bit of grounding. |
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JayMoyles Galactic Nova
Posts : 15896 Points : 15061 Join date : 2013-01-21 Age : 31 Location : The Shibuya River
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sun 2 Mar 2014 - 21:24 | |
| I'd personally like a mix of options 1 and 3 - just so long as our original characters aren't Mary Sues. |
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beemoh Koopaling
Posts : 2007 Points : 2050 Join date : 2013-01-15 Age : 39 Location : Writing and arithmetic
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sun 2 Mar 2014 - 21:25 | |
| - Balladeer wrote:
- That fifth option does look appealing. Buska in Alcoland?
It could be Tenderloin Minimise's origin story. |
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Balladeer DIVINE LONELINESS
Posts : 26468 Points : 25302 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 35 Location : Admintown
| Subject: Re: Forum Fiction Troubleshooting/Comments Thread Sun 2 Mar 2014 - 21:29 | |
| My worry with that is that this is how we'd be tenderising that loin: |
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