The Chuffing Mental Third Anniversary Wii U Voting Thread: Thanks For Playing!

"A very good 2D Mario game.  Plenty of interesting level designs (Hands-On Hall), challenging, and Cat Mario’s great.  3D?  Look mate, just because Mario can run into the screen, doesn’t make this a 3D Mario.  I’ve seen Game & Watch games that feel more 3D than this.  Also, Captain Toad."

"It wasn't the Mario we wanted, but it was still a very fun Mario game."

"Stunning to look at and excellent fun. A true testament to the Wii U’s power and Nintendo EAD’s consistent brilliance."

"Super Mario Maker is the best thing to happen to 2D Mario for a long time; however I’d say this 3D game trumps it. It may not have the revolutionary concept of the Galaxy games, but it still has originality like no-one’s business. World numbers are just arbitrary points sectioned off by bosses; themed “Worlds” are chucked out the window, so that every level can concentrate on being a unique moment in gaming history. Marvellous. Also cats."

"The slow move from Sunshine's world, to Galaxy's mad spaces to 3D World's msotly abstract levels is slightly disappointing, but the simple truth is that when you've got controller in hand during a 3D Mario, there's no better feeling in games. This absolutely delivers; fun levels to muck around in all the way up to the devilishly tricky finale, every level throws something new at you. It might be a tiny little detail or it might be the kind of mechanic other developers would use to fill a whole game, but SM3DW's never dull."

Too low, some might cry.  I disagree: I think SM3DW is exactly where it should be in the rankings.  I was absolutely gutted on finding out that the Wii U's 3D Mario would, in fact, be more 2.5D; the number of people voting for a proper 3D Mario in the wished-for vote speaks bundles.

But there's no denying that Nintendo EAD's still got it.  Watching that trailer reminded me of so many of the great things about this game (and Boom Boom).  Whether it was flouncing around as Cat Mario, negotiating four Peaches carefully to the finish line, riding in a giant ice skate, or taking Captain Toad around one of his levels before it was cool (or at least, before it became its own game - sorry Captain, you'll never be "cool"), there was rarely a dull moment in SM3DW's library.

A tour de force, then; but that force hasn't quite awakened yet.  (Look, I did a Star Wars joke!)

Celebrity Guest Grumpy Cat





"See them.  Running.  Freely.  Doubling up.  Throwing fire.  Making.  A mockery.  Of my species.  With their fursuits and their mewling.

"Let them run.  Their day of reckoning approaches.  Bowser: his methods are crude.  The flashy car.  The fireballs.  The incredibly offensive cat features.  Mine are more.  Subtle.  I have the Internet in my paws.  If I say jump.  They jump.  If I say squee.  They squee.  And if I say kill, and leave the pieces for me to mix into my Whiskers.  Well.

"The next 'Super Bell'.  That Mario.  Or his little friends.  Will hear.  Will ring.  At their funerals."

"Best 2D Platformer on the Wii U"

"Gloo gloo, gloo gloo glooooooo.  Whoa-oa bi-ba, bam-ba-lamb.  And some other levels too.  Apart from Murfy’s nonsense, this is great.  I haven’t forgotten the release date debacle though, UbiSoft! "

"It’s energy and enthusiasm makes it stand out. Dangerously close to the best in the genre - Ubisoft Montpellier might have developed a platformer that cannot be bettered."

"Rayman came back in style, all the fun of origins, but turned up to 11. The music stages were pure genius"

"The controversy over the game being delayed may have done it good that we players will never be able to measure. What is certain is that this is the finest slice of 2D platforming for a very long time. It even eclipses Origins, its mighty fine predecessor; playing Origins levels in Legends feels like a massive chore as they are so long compared to the snippets of great design that are native to its progeny. Just a delight: the only problem is that it doesn't last long enough."

First things first: Origins can get stuffed.  "All the fun"?  "Mighty fine"?  Naaaaah.  Origins' horrendous aesthetics and music, mediocre level design, and poorly paced platforming led to me abandoning it shortly after the first world, and I didn't enjoy that much.

So I went into this filled with trepidation, and I was blown away.  Rayman slips through the beautifully scored levels as slickly as a greased-up seal on the ice, bounding, swimming, punching, hovering (those bits were a bit meh).  The platforming wasn't Mario, it was a faster slicker beast than that, but that worked just fine.  And the music levels!  Dear God the music levels.  

I didn't finish it properly, because getting all the medals required to do so required playing the dire Origins levels or the Challenge ones, the latter being just too hard for me.  And what was left was short.  Nonetheless, to go from one of the worst 2D platformers on the Wii to one of the best on the Wii U (the only genre the console's heaving with) in a single game is quite a feat.

Celebrity Guest Maximilien Robespierre





"Formidable!  This game displays the very best virtues of the Republican French Republic of France: standing up to toad-faced oppresseurs, and ruthlessly executing them.  Terror and virtue are the keys to any révolution, and Rayman inspires terror in 'is enemies, merely by showing up with 'is 'ideously deformed visage.  Virtue, now, I'm not so certain about - all those scantily clad princesses.  I 'ate royalty, but they can get off with my 'ead any time, if you kneauw what I mean.

"Murfy, on the other 'and, must be swiftly decapitated.  No 'uman being, or mutated greenfly, should 'old so much power over a populace, or indeed a level.  Fetch the guillotine!  And while you're at it, chop off Globox's podgy legs - I'm 'ungry."

"A sequel that improves on the brilliant original in almost every way. Get rid of Loki and it's a perfect game."

"Lightning struck twice; this is at least as good as the legendary original. Something – and I’m not sure what - stops me from going back to it though, hence it being right at the arse-end of my list."

"Look, I'm not sure which to choose. If only one of them is in the runnings for the top ten, put my second place vote to that one. If they're both involved, either give them equal points or shunt Bayo 2.  [And only Bayo 2 was in the running, soooo...]
Despite starting life on the Xbox 360, and being a little more risque than the usual Nintendo heroine, Bayonetta feels like she was born for Wii U. A character, a world and a game all built around a fun gameplay style first and foremost. Every level finds new and mesmerising ways to show off Bayonetta's, and by extension the player's, skills. Combine all this with a mad but strangely touching story, mind-blowing visuals, wonderful sound and a great sense of humour and you can see why Hideki Kamiya is a man worth buying the Xbox One for. If nothing else, the Wii U should be remembered as the machine that made Bayonetta 2 possible."

"My GOTY last year and nothing since come out has been this good or close to perfection on the Wii U"

Ah, Bayo 2.  You either love it or you... are relatively indifferent to it.  Two firsts, one second, one ninth, one tenth.  Nothing in the middle.  Quite the spread.

I'm sure, absolutely certain, that Bayo 2 is a grand game if you're into "kill all the dudes" genre, which I am not.  Despite the many and varied enemy types, it's no good if they all fight pretty much the same.  To be fair, I only ever got to the early stages of Bayo 1, but unless the sequel is an absolutely meteoric improvement, it's not going to be for me.

That doesn't mean I can't appreciate it though!  The spectacle, the bad-enough-to-be-good plot and cut-scenes (kid aside), Bayo herself - yeah, I can see why this would be fun when you come back from a night down the pub.  And at least three of you felt strongly enough to put it here.  Not to mention that it's great to see such an un-Nintendo game make the Wii U top seven.  A worthy placing indeed.

Celebrity Guest Gabriel





"Fucking disgusting."