Mario Strikers Battle League Football (Now featuring a Smurf who cheats)

Technically with that win you've already come for him, you're now on top.

Andyman Pipped At The Goalpost As The League Favourite, Crowd Favourite, Sentimental Favoruite And Ladies Favourite Returns To Winning Ways



In a league first, this match was played after our previous fixture was abandoned at 1-1 (due to lag) ((probably from his shitey internet)) (((it couldn’t possibly have been mine))).

This is the part of the report where the writer would usually analyse the flow of the match and remark on the key and pivotal moments. There were none of those: very much ‘Watford Vs. Stoke City on Super Sunday’, this was an encounter of two players just fannying about in the middle of the park, separated by one moment of flukey greatness. It says that there were a total of 31 shots on goal and dozens of passes - I’ll take it’s word for it…!

Post-match, andyman kindly offered the following comment:

Quote :

“Ooft, got my arse handed to me there! Well played, looking forward to seeing the comedy headline!”

Gracious in defeat and said with genuine and sincere warmth and empathy, andyman’s humility is in stark contrast to the previous concientedness of that big fud Dusty Knackers, or the earlier pompasity of Buskalilly, who definitely has a very wee willy.

masofdas wrote:

I'm coming for you Dusty.

All the comedy headline fans are on my side. They're sick of you, and you regular sized, non-bold headlines

I wish I could say I ran through Luke like a cyclone but it was honestly the jammiest of comebacks.



A minute or so in of the early Sunday morning kick off I knew I was up against it & before long the man in Japan was 2 nil up, I just couldn't get anything going no matter how many times I whipped in crosses with my rapid Toad & in the final second of the game this happened.........




and well....

Another week down, another week closer to the abyss.

Lets see some tables!



You want more - you got more!

Can't wait to see how Cheatsmurf's going to anger somebody this time.

I was too salty on the day to pay attention to the post-match score, Jas, but that's pretty crazy how we were exactly the same for shots, tackles, passes and interceptions.

Aye, I didn't clock that until I was writing up the post & it's just another layer to how crazy the match really was.

Yep, even though I lost it was probably my favourite game yet; full of momentum and narrative, like a great game of football.

Sleeper Keeper

The rule lovin Cappuccino Kid squared off against Muss Athletic in today's fixture.

Cappa's team struck first, with a well executed hyper strike to open the scoring. Within a minute the Muss' team scored a hyper strike of their own in controversial circumstances. The keeper clearly caught Peach's shot, only to roll it into his own net. Buoyed by this moment of madness, Muss' team kept on the pressure and eventually scored a rebounded shot off the keeper courtesy of Bowser. They ended the scoring with a shot from the half way line in the dying seconds of the game to clinch a 4-2 victory.

Jas' Speedy Toad was too much for the Crumpy one.



Like Toad this match was a bit of blur so I don't have an as it happened write up.

Though Crump did have this to say after the game:

Ladies and Gentlemen, We Got Him! Smurf Blue After THREE Losses in an Hour!




Yes that's right, folks, our league leader is not much of a team player, having fallen to THREE doubles defeats in a special mid-season showpiece series on Wednesday night.

First it was Dusty and Jaster (AKA Jasty) putting Smurf and his poor partner Muss (AKA Treesmuss) to the sword 4-3. Another defeat followed as DusMuss defeated Jasmurf by three goals to nil (post match result imagine not available at time of press). The destruction was completed when Muster edged out Treesmurf all on his own, Dusty Knackers was not involved here and wants nothing to do with this loss so shhhh.

Smurf seals the win where it matters



Football is a team game sure but it's only the superstars we truly remember, Barca who? It's all about Lionel Messi, Manchester United? Never heard of them but that Cristiano Ronaldo ain't bad, Real Madrid? Get real, we all wanna see Thomas Gravesen.

Just before Smurf teamed with celebrity (think Joey Essex level) rookies for a charity match he faced off against the Far East Magicians in an international bout. Both teams gave it their all under the watchful eye of the GNamer Forum members but neither could muster up a clear chance. It wasn't until halfway through the game that we got the first and final goal when Toad's tame effort somehow had the keeper flapping.

There could have been a twist in the tale however as Buska's Magicians were milliseconds away from hitting a hyper strike on two occasions however a last gasp banana skin and flying kick respectively ensured the Bolts maintained their 100% record going in to the reverse fixtures.

smurf wrote:

Real Madrid? Get real, we all wanna see Thomas Gravesen.

Aye, this is true.

Masofdazed! Knackers FourTwo-nate to Upend Peng.



Friday night's battle at the bottom of the table did not disappoint in the action and drama department. It looked like Masofdas' Warriors were going to run out overwhelming victors in the early portion of the game, taking a 2-0 lead and dominating proceedings. But Knackers' Cyclones came to life in the second half of the match, pulling back two cheeky goals. The comeback was almost denied following a Peach hyper strike, which was saved by the 'keeper, before Bowser went up the other end and scored to make it 3-2 to the Dustman. Another late goal broke the hearts of the Masofdas Massive, and sealed the victory for the league's bottom team.

~

Dusty Knackers wrote:

masofdas wrote:

I'm coming for you Dusty.

All the comedy headline fans are on my side. They're sick of you, and you regular sized, non-bold headlines

Dusty Knackers wrote:

Masofdazed! Knackers FourTwo-nate to Upend Peng.

He's not wrong, you know.

Just to rub it in, here's the incredible defining moment of the match.

August is a busy time

Treesmurf almost has Champions League football in the bag already, he can surely start looking forward to European football. In fact, I heard that he’s in the pot for the draw in Instanbul on Thursday. I bet Inter Milan, PSG, Bayern Munich and the likes are shiteing themselves at the thought of drawing Treesmurf and his utterly terrifying goalscoring record and winning streak.

I could definitely take the likes of PSG, if Mbappe, Neymar and Messi try any of their fancy shit I'll just flying kick them in to the electric fence.

I heard treesmurf's Switch is fast running low on storage space. He's used it all on screenshots of his victories, and reserved space for that gameshark.

Boom Boom Betrayal almost derails Smurf's train of pain in shot stopping scandal



After being painting as the heel of the league in recent weeks it was Smurf himself that was on the receiving end of some questionable tactics in the Thursday morning kick off. It was the kind of match you'd expect from two heavyweights for the most part, plenty of well hit strikes and tough defending meant we had a stalemate for the first half of the game. The match really came alive towards the last minute however when the Bolts took the lead through a sublime strike from Luigi. By no means out of it Andyman's Warriors battled on but it looked to be all over with 30 seconds left when Toad doubled the lead.

It was here however when controversy struck, no more than 5 seconds after the restart Peach used some excellent skill to tee up a hyper strike that the keeper appeared to have saved but with both hands on the ball he turned to his goal and simply threw it in the net to level the scores. There's no evidence yet as to any bribes from the opposition but the combination of the league organisers and a member of the Royal family scoring in such a manner definitely looked suspect.

So we went to extra time and once again the teams were evenly matched until Toad's persistence paid off when he scored the winner from a rebound. Another test survived by Smurf's team but questions will be asked of his goalkeeper before the next round of fixtures.