The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG

Username picks himself up and heads towards the CHESTS, warned by Jay as he does so to look at the first page of the thread. Then Jay, Desmond, and anyone else who's following head towards the southwest passage and the previously locked door at its end. They go through, past the merchant with his stall, and on towards the green faced-door on the other side of the room.



"Be careful with that!" shouts the merchant through blood-flecked lips. "If you head through the door, somehow I don't think you'll be coming back here any time soon! And you still haven't said if you've seen my friend!"

SAVE Y/N?

>TALK TO MERCHANT: WE'VE NOT SEEN YOUR PAL

>BETTER SAVE THE GAME
>ASK DM TO SAVE THE GAME

>TALK TO MERCHANT: YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS, NICE TRY
>SAVES GAME

>ANNOUNCE TO PARTY THAT SAVING IS FOR THE WEAK
>SAVE GAME WHEN THEY AREN'T LOOKING

>BE HARDCORE AND NOT SAVE

Jay shatters the merchant's hopes with a finely placed jab, and Desmond follows up with another belter.  There are actually tears dropping from his eyes.  "B-b-but I saw h-h-him...  He was u-u-upstairs...  He h-h-hit me with a staaaaaaff!"  He collapses into blubbering.

GAME SAVED!  Username maintains that he don't need no saving, no sir, and Jay tries to save in secret, but they all get the same message and a "ding!" sound.

The final battle loometh.  Well, the final battle for this dungeon, anyway.  You aren't getting any more help out of the merchant, that's for certain, and his goods are probably all soggy now anyway.

>ENTER ACTION.

>HIT THE MERCHANT WITH GLAIVE

>INFORM THE MERCHANT HIS PAL SEEMINGLY WENT MENTAL AND TURNED EMO AND MADE A DEMONIC STATUE BEFORE PROMPTLY SHUFFLING OFF THIS MORTAL COIL

>CHEERILY OPEN LOCKED DOOR

Jay completes the emotional breakdown by telling the merchant that his friend went bonkers and made an automaton that then killed him. He curls into the foetal position on the floor of his stand. At least you know now who put all these torches and stuff around. Username reaches over and gives his shivering form a tap with his GLAIVE for good measure.

---

Through the door, and into darkness. No torches in here; no light at all. Jay stubs his toe on something, and Ballyzero almost trips over Desmond. There's a lot of shouting and cursing, until Seymour tells them all to be quiet and listen.

Ne-Neh, Ne, Ne-Neh, Ne, Ne, Ne-Neh
Ne-Neh, Ne, Ne-Neh, Ne, Ne, Ne-Neh
Ne-Neh, Ne, Ne-Neh, Ne, Ne, Ne-Neh
Ne-Neh, Ne, Ne-Neh, Ne, Ne, Ne-Neh

Torches around the room are suddenly lit:

END OF PART ONE

DM Notes:

>BEGIN GRINDING
>THANK THE DISEMBODIED VOICE FOR HIS HARD WORK
>LOOK FORWARD TO "A VERY MERRY GNAMER TABLETOP INTERNET TEXT-ADVENTURE RPG"
>THREATEN THAT IT BETTER BLOODY BY CHRISTMAS THEMED

>DO SOME PUSH UPS UNTIL IN PREPARATION FOR THE NEXT BIT
>GIVE dm A COOKIE

>CONGRADULATES DISEMBODIED VOICE ON THE GREAT THREAD WHICH MADE ME CHUCKLE NUMEROUS TIMES
>SPITS ON THE GROUND BECAUSE THE NICENESS WAS OUT OF CHARACTER

>FORESEE HAVING LOTS OF TIME ON HANDS
>INFLATE KATY PERRY DOLL

>POST ON FORUM ABOUT SEQUEL TO TJRGTINTRPG
>CRACK WITTY "DUKE NUKEM FOREVER" JOKE
>LOOK SMUG

>LOOK SIDEWAYS AT TJRGTITARPG THREAD
>REMEMBER AMOUNT OF WORK PUT INTO DESIGNING BLOODY DAVID BOWIE PUZZLE
>SHUDDER

I haven't forgotten about this. It will revive at some point. I just need to build up the energy to do so.

>NOD UNDERSTANDINGLY
>REMEMBER THAT THE PUZZLE TOOK US LITERALLY CLOSE TO A WEEK TO SOLVE
>WAIT EXCITEDLY

>REREADS THREAD
>LAUGHS MANY TIMES THROUGHOUT

This was genuinely one of my fondest forum memories here. I'd still absolutely be up for Episode 2 of TJRGNITARPG (sans Beemoh ) but I understand if Balla's got no real desire to continue it. That bloody "DAY-APHID-BOW-WII" puzzle...

Much appreciated, Jay. Tell you what. I've got exams until November, writing after that - early December, I'll at least make an effort at starting this up again. No promises, but at the very least you'll find out what happened post-Miniblins.

Wahey! No worries if it doesn't pan out, but I was raring to jump back in after rereading this thread.