| | The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG |  |
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+7The_Jaster NintenDUCK JayMoyles masofdas Crumpy Andy beemoh Balladeer 11 posters |
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NintenDUCK
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| Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG  Thu 10 Oct 2013 - 18:04 | |
| >PEE A LITTLE.
>TAKE DEEP BREATH OF VODKA.
>USE CASTLE.
>EQUIP BIG STICK
>HOPE ON CASTLE'S BACK AND HAVE HIM RUSH THE REDEAD WHILE I BRANDISH MY BIG STICK.
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beemoh
Koopaling
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Thu 10 Oct 2013 - 19:21 | |
| >REQUEST INFORMATION AS TO WHO OR WHAT GIACOMETTI IS |
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Balladeer
DIVINE LONELINESS
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Thu 10 Oct 2013 - 19:45 | |
| Most of the update is going to come tomorrow in work, when I don't have Pokémon in front of me being all distracting; but here are some examples of his work. |
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JayMoyles
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Thu 10 Oct 2013 - 21:23 | |
| >PEER ROUND AT STATUE... LOOKS FAMILIAR...  |
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Balladeer
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Fri 11 Oct 2013 - 12:06 | |
| - Papers on desk:
So this is it. A dead end. Some trickster has obviously decided to disguise this cell as a rickety attic, but around the wood lies thick stone. The skylight will not yield to my fists, nor my staff. I can hold them off if they try to come up the stairwell, but for how long? There is at least some machinery around. Maybe I can use that for something.
A few days have passed. The skylight, I have noticed, shines directly onto the floor. I could see them, milling about, underneath the hole in the floor, taunting me: but they'll stay away from the light. So I've devised a clever mechanism: the switch in my top desk draw now connects to a trapdoor over the hole. I close it, wait, press the switch, and the sunlight shoots down. Their anguished screams are music to my ears. But playing with them won't help me escape.
There's still enough machinery here to make something else. I'll see what I can do.
I'm so hungry. A family of bats has taken to nesting in the stairwell, so I'm picking off their weaklings for my meals. In the meantime, my construction is coming along nicely. When complete, she'll be able to destroy those beasts with a wave of her long arms. I think I may understand Pygmalion a little.
I have named her "Betty". It seems fitting, somehow. She is so thin, so perfect. I created her to destroy them, to rest in the light and hunt in the dark like them, but she has become so much more than a machine. She has become - my life. And I have got to finish her.
I opened the trapdoor for my daily dose of beast-bothering, but someone has put torches in the room downstairs. They come back no more. I wonder who? Never mind - I've got to finish Betty.
Somebody came to find me today. How dare he try to disturb my purpose!? I sent him packing with my staff. Betty, my love, when you are complete, you shall have your vengeance on any and all intruders to our solitude. Got to finish Betty.
Got to fiNish Betty.
Got tO finish BettY.
(This repeats, the writing style getting slightly more deranged each time. It ends, several sheets later, with this:)
At !Ast, ShE is ComPleTe. BeTty, My 1Ove. emBraCe mE in Y0ur l1onG THIN ARm5. We s5aL1 me3T tHé drAkNesS ToGeThErR.
Seymour contributes slightly to the fluid surrounding the path. He takes a deep breath: his status is now TIPSY, adding a 75% accuracy modifier to his attacks. Not to mention that the choking fog is adding a 40% modifier. He already has the BIG STICK equipped, so he only takes a short time to CASTLE, expending 1 MP. Now, shadowy figure that may or may not be a Re-Dead, you're about to enter a whole world of hurt, courtesy of... - Castle Survival Chance:
Any given attack has a 75% of instantly killing the Castle. RNG = 0.528... < 0.75.
The summoned MATTHEW CASTLE is instantly slain. Never to be daunted, the TIPSY Seymour strikes with his BIG STICK... - Attack Connect Chance:
100% x 75% x 40% = 30% chance of hitting. RNG = 0.645... < 0.7.
...delivering a fearsome beatdown to the ALCOFOG. Hah! How d'you like that, fog!? The ALCOFOG is unfazed. The shadowy figure... well, you can't even see its face, but given that you just struck a point to its right, you'd say it's not that likely to be fazed either.  ??/?? LP - DungeonMaster Tips:
Your friendly (?) DM advises you to retreat from the room until you can clear up the fog. A worsening SOBRIETY stat., combined with the accuracy modifier on attacks, means that battles in here are not that likely to be won at the moment. There are two currently active players who can stop the fog, or you can use a readily available item. Just some hints.
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JayMoyles
Galactic Nova
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Fri 11 Oct 2013 - 14:13 | |
| >LAUGH DERISIVELY AT GOTH'S LOVE LETTER TO BETTY
>PUSH BETTY OFF TRAPDOOR
>WALK BACK OVER TO DESK AND PRESS SWITCH IN DRAWER |
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Treesmurf
Dry Metal Baby Princess
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Fri 11 Oct 2013 - 15:49 | |
| >ENTERS FRAY
>IS INTRIGUED BY MASOFDAS' SALES PITCH
>ATTEMPTS TO BARTER BY OFFERING 50P |
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masofdas
The Next Miyamoto
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Fri 11 Oct 2013 - 16:33 | |
| Whatcha buying stranger, I will accept 50p. |
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beemoh
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Fri 11 Oct 2013 - 18:56 | |
| >REMEMBER ALCOHOL IS FLAMMABLE
>FLING TORCH INTO FOG |
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ZeroJones
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Sat 12 Oct 2013 - 9:29 | |
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Balladeer
DIVINE LONELINESS
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Sat 12 Oct 2013 - 9:34 | |
| I'll update this later - for now, BARTER GAME START!
(Also, Seymour may want to get his perfectly toned backside out of the alcohol-filled room someone's just chucked a torch into.) |
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JayMoyles
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Sat 12 Oct 2013 - 12:53 | |
| >PILFER POKEMON IN A BID TO SPEED UP THE DISEMBODIED VOICE |
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Balladeer
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Sat 12 Oct 2013 - 20:14 | |
| The DISEMBODIED VOICE spends a while angrily chasing one of his players around the town centre. It's difficult to chase someone, when you have no hands to grab them with. However, he'll let you off this once, considering your predicament. What predicament, you ask? Ah...
Jay sneers. Pfft. Some old coot fell in love with a STATUE that he made. What a numpty. An incestuous numpty. He finds the switch no problem, top drawer. Then he shoves BETTY off the TRAPDOOR, goes back to the desk and presses the switch. Sure enough, the TRAPDOOR opens - and look, there's the main room. Diamond of chests, torn NOEL EDMONDS poster, everything. But the light hits a sensor on the ground, and a pillar rises up from the floor. It's got a mirror on it, and a handle, meaning that by turning it you can reflect light into every corner of the room including down the passageways. Although that puzzle's already been solved by people messing about with torches. Never mind, eh. No use hanging around here, then. Jay sets off back down the staircase, but hears a groan. With a feeling of sickening inevitability, Jay turns around... "BETTY" WANTS TO BATTLE!  120/120 LP Yeah. Good luck fighting that one normally. That'll teach you to steal my games.
Masofdas makes his way out of Username's Inventory, without taking anything from there (wasted opportunity du jour). He meets the newly arrived Desmond, and they engage in BARTER BATTLE! Using his mercantile skills that I just now made up, Masofdas can sell a variety of interesting items, although he can't use them himself without buying them back from a customer. EXAMPLE MARKET PRICES: POTION: £2.00 RUSTY GLAIVE: £6.00 BIG BONBON: £0.50 - DM notes:
I am so going to regret trying to introduce a market into this.
Username rushes down the southwest passage, dodges Seymour's TORCH which is guttering on the floor, and lobs his own TORCH into the alcohol free room. Now, because I'm a nice DM I am going to assume that Seymour has already sensibly hauled his tipsy arse from the SHADOWY FIGURE, meaning that he's not in the room when...  (Desmond looks pointedly in the other direction when he hears this, because that's the sort of person he is.) The door falls off its hinges, letting the light from within into the southwest passage (no need for torches, therefore). There is still a low, anguished groaning coming from within. Dare you re-enter? - DM notes:
Other solutions I had in mind included ZJ's Fireball spell (which would have produced some flames, despite its listed effect); or just getting Jay to come in and drink the fluid. Due to his typing, he'd have been fine. Well, no different, anyway.
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JayMoyles
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Sat 12 Oct 2013 - 20:44 | |
| >AW FUCK NO
>USE "ANGST" AS DISTRACTION
>RUN
>REQUESTING HELP FROM FRIENDLY FORUMITES
>OFFER HELP WITH POSSIBLE REDEAD IN EXCHANGE FOR HELPING TO MURDER THIS ELDRITCH HORROR
>IT WILL BE ALL OUR PROBLEM SOON ENOUGH ANYWAY
>*SOB*
Last edited by JayMoyles on Sat 12 Oct 2013 - 21:51; edited 1 time in total |
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beemoh
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Sat 12 Oct 2013 - 21:28 | |
| - Balladeer wrote:
- "BETTY" WANTS TO BATTLE!
120/120 LP
Yeah. Good luck fighting that one normally. >USE IN-APP PURCHASES TO BUY MASSIVE HAMMER AND CHISEL >GO TO TOWN WITH HAMMER AND CHISEL >RETURN TO DUNGEON AND ATTACK BETTY WITH THE TOOLS >BY WHICH I MEAN THE HAMMER AND CHISEL AND NOT MY FELLOW DUNGEONEERS |
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ZeroJones
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Sun 13 Oct 2013 - 10:15 | |
| >RUN FROM BETTY
>AS AIR ONCE SANG, "RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN"
>THERE WERE A FEW MORE RUNS IN THE SONG
>I CAN'T REMEMBER HOW MANY BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE THAN AUSTRALIA MANAGED IN THE ASHES
>BAZINGA
Last edited by ZeroJones on Sun 13 Oct 2013 - 17:41; edited 1 time in total |
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NintenDUCK
Vote Thread
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Sun 13 Oct 2013 - 16:17 | |
| >THANK DISEMBODIED VOICE FOR FORCIBLY REMOVING ME FROM BLAST ZONE
>STAGGERS OUT OF SOUTHWEST PASSAGE
>SEE BETTY
>USE PEEKACHOO ON BETTY
>GET CONFUSED AND CHASE BALLYZERO AS HE RUNS AWAY |
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Treesmurf
Dry Metal Baby Princess
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Sun 13 Oct 2013 - 23:47 | |
| >IS PLEASANTLY SURPRISED HOW EASY THE POTION WAS TO OBTAIN FOR 50P
>THANKS MASOFDAS
>DECIDES TO EXPLORE THE RECENTLY EXPLODED SOUTHWEST PASSAGE |
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Balladeer
DIVINE LONELINESS
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Mon 14 Oct 2013 - 9:18 | |
| Whoa there! I think Mas needs to have a say in this. If he doesn't post all day, it's all yours. If he does, you're relying on your Agreeability score as to whether you can convince him... Updates going up slowly.
Jay casts Angst, costing him 1 MP. Betty's not exactly a fast mover anyway: she totters a bit on those legs, and she seems keen to stay out of the light. As she's held up with Neku moaning about how he has SO MANY FEELS, Jay dashes downstairs, screaming his lungs out and begging for help. Desmond and Ballyzero hear his cries, and henceforth run away (well, Ballyzero runs: Desmond strolls nonchalantly) towards the slightly lit south-western passage. They pass the emerging Seymour, staggering from a mixture of alcohol and broken eardrums. He joins Jay, Masofdas, Username, and the insubstantial shade of El Andros in the main room. They wait there, Jay cowering slightly, Seymour swaying slightly, Username grizzling slightly. A bloody pair of purple headphones fall through the trapdoor above. Heavy, uneven metal footsteps are coming down the stairs. - DM notes:
(I appreciate the cricketing burn, by the way - must share that with Athrun.  )
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JayMoyles
Galactic Nova
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Mon 14 Oct 2013 - 10:11 | |
| >UM
>WAIT TILL BETTY REARS HER UGLY YET MURDEROUS HEAD AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS
>TURN MIRROR COLUMN TOWARDS THE NORTHERN STAIRWELL
>COWER BY SOUTH-WESTERN PASSAGE IN CASE THIS PLAN GOES TITS UP |
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Balladeer
DIVINE LONELINESS
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Mon 14 Oct 2013 - 11:35 | |
| BETTY finally clunks into view, her empty eyes sizing up the party. She has blood and fragments of purple cloth on her "hands". Username tries to purchase a hammer and chisel to attack her, but because of TJRGNTITARPG's incredible popularity, the online section of the app. has crashed. PLEASE TELL TJRGNTITARPG TECH SUPPORT ABOUT THIS PROBLEM! WE HAVE PREPARED A FORM YOU CAN SEND WHICH WILL DO ABSOLUTE NOTHING, BUT MIGHT ANNOY ONE OF OUR MONKEYS IN TECH SUPPORT NO END. GO ON, SEND IT, IT'LL BE HILARIOUS. WE ONLY PAY THEM PEANUTS ANYWAY. SEND FORM Y/N?Seymour casts PEEKACHOO at the cost of 2MP, increasing his critical hit percentage and earning him 3 EXP. Then he flees in the general direction of Ballyzero, but not before BETTY lashes out, doing 6HP of damage! It's snapped him out of his tipsiness, at least. "BETTY"
TYPE: Metallic/???
WEAKNESSES: Being dropped from large heightsJay curses his decision to move BETTY off the TRAP DOOR before opening it. He gets behind the light pillar thing and begins to turn. 120/120 LP |
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JayMoyles
Galactic Nova
Posts : 15896
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Mon 14 Oct 2013 - 16:20 | |
| >DIRECT BEAM OF LIGHT TOWARDS BETTY
>PRAY THAT ITS AVERSION TO LIGHT UPSTAIRS EQUALS MASSIVE DAMAGE WHEN HIT WITH BEAM OF LIGHT
>FAILING THAT, PREPARE TO KEK PANTS |
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NintenDUCK
Vote Thread
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Mon 14 Oct 2013 - 18:28 | |
| >HIDE BEHIND REST OF TEAM
>OFFER TO PURCHASE THREE POTIONS FOR £5.00 |
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beemoh
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Mon 14 Oct 2013 - 18:30 | |
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JayMoyles
Galactic Nova
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| | Subject: Re: The Jolly Ridiculous GNamer Tabletop Internet Text-Adventure RPG Mon 14 Oct 2013 - 18:34 | |
| - beemoh wrote:
- >ATTEMPT TO SEDUCE BETTY
>TALK TO PARTY:THIS IS OUR BEST SHOT LADS LET'S GO WITH THIS I'M STILL GONNA DIRECT THIS BEAM THOUGH JUST IN CASE |
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